Hi, Find inline below my follow-up questions and details about your changes marked with [mo].
Chapter 1: First full paragraph, there is a "backup" (noun) that should be "back up" (verb). [mo] Good catch, fixed. Under requirements, there is reference to a "Writable CD-Rom". Aside from it being a CD-ROM, isn't a writable CD-ROM a contradiction? ;-) Maybe "a CD burner"? [mo] Agreed, fixed. Also, why do they need a CD burner AND a DVD drive? I'm sure someone will ask. [mo] I thought more reviewers would complain at this too, but you are the only one so far. They need CD for g4u and QTparted, they need DVD because the starter kit includes only DVDs. Does this make no sense? The requirements changed around this very late, so I really appreciate your help to clean it up. None of the instructions for g4u and QTparted state that you can use a DVD instead, but if it is possible, I can remove the CD burner requirement, I guess. Thoughts? The Note should be "...tasks with the highest level...". The missing "the" seems awkward. [mo] Good catch, fixed. There is mention of an FTP server with some unspecified GB of free space... Finally, "Two methods of installing..." And the second method is...? :-) [mo] Thanks, I fixed this by adding a listitem and more content. Chapter 2 (I think, based on the link--doc doesn't say): Pradhap already got the i install... Chapter 3 (again, is it? I don't know what the intent is, so I'm just asking.): Under "To Configure", one should "log in" as root (verb), not "login" (adjective). Actually, I recently thought of a way to remember this (yes, it's one of those popular mistakes that get under my skin--happens at work all the time). Think of the present tense. Are you logining, or logging in? (Yes, you can use this comment. I hereby release it under a Creative Commons license. ;-) [mo] Good catch, fixed (in my brain _and_ in the document!) After 10, there is an unnumbered item that is a (p)repeat of 11. (Yeah, "prepeat" isn't a word, but it makes it clear what I mean. ;-) [mo]Actually, I don't know what you're referring to here. Can you give me more info about what needs to change and a location? In line 12, doesn't our Style Guide say this should be a PCI ID? Another simple capitalization faux pas like the CD-ROM above. No biggee. [mo] Good catch, fixed. To expand on Patrick's one comment, there are a number of "you must" items in the prerequisites. Can the language maybe be softened using "you will need" statements instead? Whaddaya think? [mo] Agreed, fixed. I don't have anything beyond that that nobody else has already flagged. Good work, Michelle. Thanks! I really appreciate your help, the editorial comments were sooo needed! -Michelle Rainer This message posted from opensolaris.org
