On Wed, 19 Apr 1995, Wood Lee wrote:
> > I don't know who "wood" is, but I am outraged at the tone of this
> > message. I feel blamed, talked down to and have an inexplicable
> > urge to choke "wood". So much for my non-combative style.
> >
>
> It doesn't matter in this case who I am. It's what was said that counts.
> I did not intend to cause you to become apparently so outraged. Can you
> explain to me how I've caused you to feel the way you do? Should we take
> this offline?
I cannot speak for Carol, but your comments on communication offended me
because I felt that they were another version of blaming the victim. You
implied that:
1. women are not "good at" the male, combative style of
discourse (I have already explained why I don't find this an adequate
explanation of the dynamic I have experienced),
2. women are "driven" by a biological force to have children which is
"primitive and innate" and if left unfulfilled leads us to be maladjusted
or "deformed" (this is an old argument directed against unmarried women,
childless women for hundreds if not thousands of years), and
3. if the system of communication, etc is broken it is *our* job as
women/victims/unhappy ones to fix it and that those who benefit from the
system have not obligation to recognize its injustice, fix it, etc.
I am sure there are others ways that you have "offended" -- but I will
leave it at that for now.
Jayne
