--- In [email protected], "Jeff Fischer" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > --- In [email protected], TurquoiseB <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> > wrote: > > > > They're both just theories that we're spouting. Probably > > NEITHER is correct. Like I said, I'm not trying to sell > > mine. I'm just putting it out there for others to bounce > > off of. > > OK. I'll bounce this ball. Let's say somone has lost a loved one. > They experience grief. Sometimes it gets pretty overwhelming. > Observing, one would say they are the victim of that emotion. > Yet, for them, everything reminds them of the person they lost, > so it triggers the grief. One possible remedy : Tell me > something that > doesn't remind you of ____________. Continue > until the person feels better. "A" way to unstick the attention.
In theory, yes. > Two days ago I met a guy who had just buried his 13 year old > daughter (hit by a car when on her bike). He asked me what he > should do with her stuff. I said "Give them to a charity your > daughter would have supported." Otherwise, every time he sees > her stuff it will tend to trigger the grief. Sounds like good advice to me. > I did Dianetics with a guy who had lost his wife to cancer. He > was still very much in it. We ran the incident of the last night > in the hospital. Huge amounts of pain and grief came off. It > took two nights but he finally felt better. Told me after that > he was able to look at pictures of her without feeling sad and > could smile and enjoy them. Cool. > The difference here, IMO, is that if someone continues to go over > (put directed attention on) an incident, it will eventually > dissolve. If you just put your attention on it without fully > confronting it, it does grow stronger and have a negative effect. Quite possible. I am more familiar, unfortunately, with the latter path. Santa Fe was full of what we used to call "walking wounded," people who just kept replaying the tragedies of their lives over and over and over, and never getting past them. You'd meet them and they'd talk about how horrible X, Y, and Z were and then you'd meet them six years later and they were still talking about how horrible X, Y, and Z were. For me, it's a matter of "whatever works for you." In some cases, the process I described of shifting one's state of attention to a more productive one works for me. Sometimes if an emotion seems particularly power- ful I'll confront it and try to understand it for a while. But never for very long, because to be honest I have a lot of people who depend on me for things, and it's more important for me to get back to helping them than it is to ponder my own issues. And what I find is, almost every time, when I get back to selfless service, after a very short while the issues just aren't there any more. The only reason they were "there" in the first place was because I was feeling important. Forget the self, and the self's troubles often go away. That's my theory. Today. Tomorrow I may have another one. :-) Unc To subscribe, send a message to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] Or go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/FairfieldLife/ and click 'Join This Group!' Yahoo! Groups Links <*> To visit your group on the web, go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/FairfieldLife/ <*> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] <*> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to: http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
