Jeff wrote: > > The difference here, IMO, is that if someone continues to go over > > (put directed attention on) an incident, it will eventually > > dissolve. If you just put your attention on it without fully > > confronting it, it does grow stronger and have a negative effect.
Turquoise wrote: > Quite possible. I am more familiar, unfortunately, with > the latter path. Santa Fe was full of what we used to > call "walking wounded," people who just kept replaying > the tragedies of their lives over and over and over, and > never getting past them. You'd meet them and they'd talk > about how horrible X, Y, and Z were and then you'd meet > them six years later and they were still talking about > how horrible X, Y, and Z were. All too familiar. If you don't "fully" confront it you are a victim, ad nauseum. Try this if someone constantly complains about what somebody else has "done" to them: "Have you done something similar yourself?" > For me, it's a matter of "whatever works for you." In > some cases, the process I described of shifting one's > state of attention to a more productive one works for > me. Sometimes if an emotion seems particularly power- > ful I'll confront it and try to understand it for a > while. But never for very long, because to be honest > I have a lot of people who depend on me for things, > and it's more important for me to get back to helping > them than it is to ponder my own issues. And what I > find is, almost every time, when I get back to selfless > service, after a very short while the issues just aren't > there any more. The only reason they were "there" in > the first place was because I was feeling important. > Forget the self, and the self's troubles often go away. Agree and have employed this myself quite often. Ultimately I think we can all "be saved" by focusing on helping each other. > > That's my theory. Today. Tomorrow I may have another > one. :-) > > Unc Cool, man, cool. BTW what did you think of that TurQy handle or is it old hat? Jeff To subscribe, send a message to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] Or go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/FairfieldLife/ and click 'Join This Group!' Yahoo! Groups Links <*> To visit your group on the web, go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/FairfieldLife/ <*> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] <*> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to: http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
