--- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, "Rick Archer" <r...@...> wrote: > > Thanks for the appreciative words, Barry. It so happens > that that particular Zen story is one of my inspirations > and I've told it often. The other day Judy mentioned that > I must be "really pissed" because of something Raunchy > said. It surprised me a bit that she would think I would > get upset by something someone wrote here.
Another thought on this, and on why some folks seem to "get" the wisdom of "Is that so?" and others do not. I have found in my life that those who seem most driven to "defend themselves" when either criticized or when someone sees them differently than they like to see themselves *have rarely bucked the system*. And, in fact in spiritual contexts, they have often *submitted* to the system for many years, making compromises to do so. For example, in organizations with a bit (or a lot) of cultic nature to them, it is not unusual for members to regularly be expected to "defend themselves" to be considered a "member in good standing." Do this long enough, and you get used to it and consider it normal. The people in my experience who most "get" the "Is that so?" thang are those who have gone through a period of doubting or who have shifted their priorities in life and have to some extent "walked away" from an organization that they were strongly committed to for many years. Those who have never done this in a spiritual context simply DO NOT UNDERSTAND how the shit hits the fan when you do. Former friends in the organization you are walking away from (or distancing yourself from) have a tendency to suddenly turn on you and start saying things you never imagined them capable of. Former close friends cross the street to avoid talking to you. You start to hear rumors about yourself that defy belief. Some people even say shit to your face, and call you "traitor" or worse for leaving the "highest path." I had a brick thrown through one of my windows when I walked away from the Rama trip. At first your impulse is to "defend yourself." After all, you don't *understand* how these former friends and fellow seekers can one day treat you as an equal and as a valued member of the spiritual community and path that you shared for years or decades and the next day treat you like you were a child molestor or the spawn of Satan. So you try to "explain yourself." If you care about these people (even if you don't really care what they think of you), you try to tell them that nothing has really changed about who and what you are, or you even try to explain your reasons for having made the decision that you did. But it never works. Your "reasons" are invalid. There can *be* no valid reasons for walking away from the "highest path." By doing so you have shamed yourself and shamed the holy trad- ition you walked away from. You are pond scum, lower than the lint in a snake's navel. Sound familiar, Rick? I'll bet it does. It would also sound familiar to any Catholic priest who decided to leave the priesthood. Or to any celibate monk from any tradition who fell in love and decided to get married. And I'll bet it sounds familiar to a lot of the posters on this forum who, one way or another, *have* distanced themselves from an organi- zation they once felt proud of being a part of and no longer can. Right? Depending on the length of time *since* they did this "distancing," they probably understand "Is that so?" to a lesser or greater degree. After a while it's the only thing that makes sense. "Yes men" who CARE about being perceived as part of a tradition or organization feel the need to "defend themselves." Those who really *aren't* a part of that tradition or organization do not. After a while all you *can* do when you encounter the hatred beamed at you by those who feel that by being true to yourself you somehow "betrayed" them is shrug and walk away -- the physical counterpart of saying "Is that so?" Or laugh, which in my opinion is the best possible way of saying the same thing. By laughing at those who attack you, you avoid the temptation to stoop to their level. And, if your walking away has taught you anything, you realize that *before* you walked away you were just like them. Laughing at them is a way of laughing at that part of yourself, and wishing it good riddance.
