--- In [email protected], "authfriend" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> 
wrote:
> --- In [email protected], "sparaig" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> 
wrote:
> > --- In [email protected], "authfriend" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> 
> wrote:
> > > --- In [email protected], "sparaig" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> 
> wrote:
> > > <snip> 
> > > > Might be. Very stressful times right now and my ability to 
read 
> is 
> > > > not where it usually is.
> > > 
> > > Sorry to hear.  Sending positive thoughts your way.
> > 
> > Thanks. I BELIEVE that I'm doing better than my brother, who is 
the 
> > official caretaker of my mother currently. He's going completely 
> > bonkers, IMHO.
> 
> There should be support systems available, if you
> can get him to avail himself of them.  On the Web,
> if not accessible within the community.  Is this in
> Tucson?

We've hired a in-home hospice service...

> 
> I'm going through somewhat the same thing with my
> sister taking care of *our* mother.  She thinks she
> ought to be able to do it without help.  I don't
> understand that mindset.  If it were me, I'd take 
> all the help I could get.

Everyone in the family is helping out. My brother believes in "right 
to die" a tad too strongly is all. Withholding cancer treatment 
because she's 89, has extremely advanced cancer that we only learned 
about a few days ago and an unknown number of hours or months to live 
is one thing. Withholding medicine that regularizes her heart because 
you don't want to prolong her life is another. The hospice nurse in 
charge of our case, the hospice physician, my mother's doctor, his 
girlfriend, my ex, AND I have all told him that that kind of med 
doesn't really prolong life, but only keeps her heart beating more 
regularly so she'll be less anxious and probably less confused has 
just gone right past him. 

He's in charge of her medical treatment and she gets nothing but what 
he says. For a few days he was only letting her have pain meds. He 
finally learned that one of those other pills was a laxitive and 
started giving it to her. Since she went into the hospital with 
breathing difficulties (they thought she had pnuemonia but found out 
3 liters of liquid were *outside* her lung which had completely 
collapsed by the time we brought her in -she doesn't have lung 
cancer, BTW --this is just a side effect of her abdominal cancer), 
she hasn't had any prunes or any other natural laxitive. I'm not sure 
she has had a bowell movement since her collapse.

A few days ago, i found myself standing barefoot in her piss, while 
putting her screaming in the porta-potty next to her bed. Great fun. 
Yesterday my ex and I were trying to pry a turd from her ass so we 
could put her back to bed. Even more fun. Enemas will probably be 
given today if she survives long enough.

Last night I peeked in and found she'd taken off her O2 nose-piece 
and all her clothes. Tried to get her to drink something. She nodded 
slightly and put the straw in her mouth but I don't think she drank 
anything. My brother tried and says she drank something but who 
knows? We didn't try to get her dressed and just covered her up and 
left her alone. She dozes or doesn't doze regardless of who is in the 
room now. Doesn't really notice anyone much any more.


As I said, I'm doing much better than my brother. At least I have 
some way of relaxing and i've been on prozac for a few years anyway. 
He's just withering while I watch, and making more and more stupid 
mistakes in the family business as she gets worse.

*I* managed to pass my japanese class in this middle of her final 
collapse (after four tries for this level) though I had to take the 
oral final over the phone because I couldn't stand the cheerful mood 
of the rest of the class. Couldn't get my partner on the phone and 
had to go to class and make my excuses directly after spending much 
of the night in the ER. Even more great fun.

I would like to ask all the "awakened ones" on this group about how 
many have had similar "stories" in their lives, and how many were 
already awake when they happened? How's your bliss while standing in 
your mother's piss while putting her on the pot?




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