Oh, Lawson, I'm *so* sorry you're all having to go
through this.  Not much else one can say.  What
anguish.

It does sound like your mother was making a move
toward getting herself ready to go, in shedding
her clothing--her outermost layer, as it were.

God bless her, and the rest of you as well.  We'll
all send you peace, if not bliss...



--- In [email protected], "sparaig" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
> --- In [email protected], "authfriend" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> 
> wrote:
> > --- In [email protected], "sparaig" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> 
> wrote:
> > > --- In [email protected], "authfriend" 
<[EMAIL PROTECTED]> 
> > wrote:
> > > > --- In [email protected], "sparaig" 
<[EMAIL PROTECTED]> 
> > wrote:
> > > > <snip> 
> > > > > Might be. Very stressful times right now and my ability to 
> read 
> > is 
> > > > > not where it usually is.
> > > > 
> > > > Sorry to hear.  Sending positive thoughts your way.
> > > 
> > > Thanks. I BELIEVE that I'm doing better than my brother, who is 
> the 
> > > official caretaker of my mother currently. He's going 
completely 
> > > bonkers, IMHO.
> > 
> > There should be support systems available, if you
> > can get him to avail himself of them.  On the Web,
> > if not accessible within the community.  Is this in
> > Tucson?
> 
> We've hired a in-home hospice service...
> 
> > 
> > I'm going through somewhat the same thing with my
> > sister taking care of *our* mother.  She thinks she
> > ought to be able to do it without help.  I don't
> > understand that mindset.  If it were me, I'd take 
> > all the help I could get.
> 
> Everyone in the family is helping out. My brother believes 
in "right 
> to die" a tad too strongly is all. Withholding cancer treatment 
> because she's 89, has extremely advanced cancer that we only 
learned 
> about a few days ago and an unknown number of hours or months to 
live 
> is one thing. Withholding medicine that regularizes her heart 
because 
> you don't want to prolong her life is another. The hospice nurse in 
> charge of our case, the hospice physician, my mother's doctor, his 
> girlfriend, my ex, AND I have all told him that that kind of med 
> doesn't really prolong life, but only keeps her heart beating more 
> regularly so she'll be less anxious and probably less confused has 
> just gone right past him. 
> 
> He's in charge of her medical treatment and she gets nothing but 
what 
> he says. For a few days he was only letting her have pain meds. He 
> finally learned that one of those other pills was a laxitive and 
> started giving it to her. Since she went into the hospital with 
> breathing difficulties (they thought she had pnuemonia but found 
out 
> 3 liters of liquid were *outside* her lung which had completely 
> collapsed by the time we brought her in -she doesn't have lung 
> cancer, BTW --this is just a side effect of her abdominal cancer), 
> she hasn't had any prunes or any other natural laxitive. I'm not 
sure 
> she has had a bowell movement since her collapse.
> 
> A few days ago, i found myself standing barefoot in her piss, while 
> putting her screaming in the porta-potty next to her bed. Great 
fun. 
> Yesterday my ex and I were trying to pry a turd from her ass so we 
> could put her back to bed. Even more fun. Enemas will probably be 
> given today if she survives long enough.
> 
> Last night I peeked in and found she'd taken off her O2 nose-piece 
> and all her clothes. Tried to get her to drink something. She 
nodded 
> slightly and put the straw in her mouth but I don't think she drank 
> anything. My brother tried and says she drank something but who 
> knows? We didn't try to get her dressed and just covered her up and 
> left her alone. She dozes or doesn't doze regardless of who is in 
the 
> room now. Doesn't really notice anyone much any more.
> 
> 
> As I said, I'm doing much better than my brother. At least I have 
> some way of relaxing and i've been on prozac for a few years 
anyway. 
> He's just withering while I watch, and making more and more stupid 
> mistakes in the family business as she gets worse.
> 
> *I* managed to pass my japanese class in this middle of her final 
> collapse (after four tries for this level) though I had to take the 
> oral final over the phone because I couldn't stand the cheerful 
mood 
> of the rest of the class. Couldn't get my partner on the phone and 
> had to go to class and make my excuses directly after spending much 
> of the night in the ER. Even more great fun.
> 
> I would like to ask all the "awakened ones" on this group about how 
> many have had similar "stories" in their lives, and how many were 
> already awake when they happened? How's your bliss while standing 
in 
> your mother's piss while putting her on the pot?




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