To Robin, it may all be a moot point but I wanted to give you an answer in case you are lurking still.
--- In [email protected], maskedzebra <no_reply@...> wrote: > > I think you have me very wrong here, Curtis. I must leave it at that. Fair enough, I can relate to this combination of feeling misunderstood but not wanting to engage. <I appreciate your desire to offer up an interpretation of my letter to Barry which unmasks my concealed purposes.> I wouldn't call it a desire for unmasking concealed purposes. I was calling it as I saw it and inviting you to respond. Vaj didn't deserve being accused of being a liar for bringing up something you have now admitted, all parsing of the details of when and where aside. < But I will enter into my last moments of my life here certain that I have not been mistaken in my assessment of this post of yours. You are unstoppable, and that is good enough for me. You can't help yourself. And hey! for all I know you might be dead right about me and my motives and the real purport of my letter to Barry.> I didn't intend motives to be the main topic, I was more interested in your acknowledging that Vaj had gotten a bad rap from you concerning these events, now admitted, but previously denied. I am not sure what I need to help myself for? It was a letter to all of us,not only Barry. < At some point with you, Curtis, one must just say: "OK, Curtis. I will give way to you. Go for it." Meanwhile I feel in my soul that you are so very far off the mark as to make it almost impossible even to express and explain this. It is just there, Curtis; this conviction I have that you refuse to understand me the way I really am. For me to say anything at this point will only deepen the mystery of this prolonged disagreement we have about what is real, what is honest, what is innocent, what is true. For the time being, I am willing to let you appropriate, through this last post, the high ground concerning these matters.> Hey I would be the last person to try to impose on you some contrived moral obligation to answer my post in detail Robin. Perhaps you now can understand my lack of interest in going point by point with your 5 pager. We all pick our interests to pursue here and you are certainly welcome to yours. I have not interest in assuming "high ground" whatever that means. We're just talk'n here. This place works for me as long as we all have the choice to use it as suits us best. And if this hinting of your FFL demise is true this time,you have my email address, and if in time the weight of remembering our interactions swings back to the more charitable, you are welcome to contact me. You are always worth the read. In my experience, once you have found how to use the place to reflect thought, it can come back to being useful again after whatever break you need. I wouldn't throw away your mansion club key if I were you, the grotto often renews its appeal in time. > > Robin > > --- In [email protected], "curtisdeltablues" <curtisdeltablues@> > wrote: > > > > Since Vaj is being a pretty good sport about this I will speak up for him > > and say that he wouldn't be out of line in doing a Snoopy's I-told-you-so > > dance on this one. What Ann may not be aware of about the dynamics of the > > place is that the Robin hitting people issue wasn't really about Robin > > hitting people. It was being used as a tool by some here to impeach Vaj's > > credibility. And it was Robin who, through a convoluted process of > > reasoning I will get to below, was one of the biggest enthusiasts of this > > POV, knowing all the while that he was bullshitting us all. > > > > Here are a few problems I see in this whole deal. Vaj's perspective on > > this has been misrepresented in Robin's mea culpa to allow for the > > equivocation room that I suspect is not really flying even for those who > > would rather die than admit that Vaj has been vindicated here. Since I've > > endured pages of Robin's accusations that I am being subtly deceptive on > > this board I'm gunna spell this out as I see it. > > > > Vaj said there was a video of Robin hitting someone. > > > > Robin said this video was impossible and watched as others piled on Vaj to > > use this as an example of a lie he had been caught in. > > > > Robin encouraged this POV. > > > > Someone showed up who could corroborate the story. > > > > Before she could, Robin came clean. But still is attempting to evade an > > owed apology to Vaj who he let hang out to dry, knowing full well there was > > bullshittery in play. > > > > And I get it that the fans of the careful parsing will delight in the > > distinction between when the hitting took place and that perhaps Robin was > > technically not boldfaced lying in a Clintonesque "I never had sex with > > that woman" but was at the very least involved in the statements that > > followed that Monica was deranged. > > > > So why the slick Willy routine Robin? There is plenty of compassion here > > for weird shit we all did in our past and this doesn't sound like such a > > big deal. There were a whole bunch of weird psychological "breakthrough" > > cults that seem to be far worse than what you were running back then. If > > you weren't banging your disciples ten deep in Elvis' Graceland white panty > > parties, you come off as better than most people in your position of power > > over the entranced. > > > > So the last few months of Vaj battles seems kind of disingenuous. Vaj was > > shooting, you were dancing, the music stopped so own it. It wasn't such a > > big deal until you used it as a way to make Vaj look bad in what I consider > > to be a disgusting campaign around here to make it look as if Vaj was never > > a TM teacher, which you also piled on for. > > > > You did the guy wrong and aren't owning it. > > > > > > Now I'd like to get to the part that represents my biggest interest in what > > you wrote. You seem to be playing two sides of a dangerous fence here. On > > one hand you are calling your visions of demon infested people a > > hallucination, but you don't seem to be renouncing the POV that there > > really were Gods who made you enlightened. And I find your holding on to > > the power of your previous enlightenment itself problematic because you > > seem to be using the buy-in of your followers as proof that you really were > > uniquely (compared to the the rest of us) in some powerful enlightened > > state rather than being one of the millions who was suffering from mental > > impairment. > > > > Here I tread lightly but earnestly. > > > > I don't believe this POV helps your recovery and I suspect if you are under > > the care of any doctor they would agree. People have followed others > > suffering from deranged mental states into actual "cut off their heads" > > battle Robin. People bought into Mao. Lots of people. Millions of > > people. Hundreds of millions of people. > > > > The statement that everyone in the room was experiencing the same thing > > when you did in your "out damn spot" demon dances is a false proof > > statement with no epistemological merit. Your group was functioning under > > the conditions of a well known phenomenon and their reports are as suspect > > as those of any eye witnesses but multiplied by a thousand because you guys > > shared a common language to discuss experiences that shape reporting to > > make it all fit better. There were big payoffs for anyone who answered the > > cop's question: "was he the one who you saw sneak behind the counter at > > Katz's Deli and remove half of one of their piled mile high pastramis on > > rye, leading to Hazel Kurmuffle ending up with a normal sized non Katz Deli > > style sandwich?" with a "yes master". (or whatever it was that designated > > you as especially in the know compared to them. (Maharishi assumed that > > title as his name and upped Guru Dev's to His Divinity, named no doubt for > > that jello, whipped cream, grape and marshmallow dessert popular in the > > 50's.) Sorry, I am prone to food digressions... > > > > You and I have had our friendly connections here. I believe they digressed > > into a diluted form of the interactions you described in your "I did it but > > not exactly as he said I did and it was the vedic gods after all" > > non-admission. From the beginning of our interactions I objected to the > > sports metaphors for our discussions because it was not a battle for me, it > > was a discussion of our different POVs and where we draw our lines. But > > for you it seems to have been a dance of dominance. One that ended our > > friendly discussions when you seemed compelled to push my face in your > > perspective of my faults as if you were expelling something impure in me. > > > > IMO you are still not coming clean with your fellow humans Robin. You are > > trying to have it both ways. None of us is running the > > "truth" here,it just isn't one of our options. The battle is over. > > Everyone should put their maces and lances and bows and arrows away and go > > home to our families. I believe for you some of the pieces of that puzzle > > will be found in former followers who I suspect will be more than willing > > to give you a break, and whose own healing you could probably facilitate if > > you were willing to get off the silk and join their humanness. And there > > may be a biochemical reason why you will never escape from what I call the > > "prison of specialness", but for your sake I hope there is and that you > > find it. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > --- In [email protected], Vaj <vajradhatu@> wrote: > > > > > > > > > On Jan 21, 2012, at 10:09 PM, awoelflebater wrote: > > > > > > > Now I am not sure, because I don't have the will or the stamina to go > > > > through the long list of posts dealing with the hitting issues, why > > > > this is such a hot topic or by who(m?) it has been brought up (but I am > > > > guessing perhaps Vaj) or even what the exact questions regarding > > > > hitting are. > > > > > > > > > OK, let's put this to rest once and for all. > > > > > > There were several untrue rumors flitting around about Robin, most > > > facilitated by TM TB's: > > > > > > -he was dead > > > > > > -he committed suicide > > > > > > -he went "insane" > > > > > > -his schtick ended when he began beating students on stage. > > > > > > The only one that has some semblance of truth is the latter and then only > > > vaguely. All the people I knew involved in WTS stopped when a VHS of > > > Robin thumping his fists (not beating, not punching) on a student > > > circulated. It was the last straw for some "hangers-on". > > > > > >
