--- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, akasha_108 <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, akasha_108 <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> > wrote: > > --- In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, "authfriend" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> <snip> > My point from the begining (though we have taken some circuitous > loops) is that, IMO, in the context of this forum, it is > unproductive to call anyone a liar. If you feel a mistruth has been > uttered, correct it. You can do that without personal insults.
I'd appreciate it if you'd withdraw all the personally insulting and inaccurate stuff about "you believe you are among the few, perhaps the only one, who can surmise if Barry is lying. It implies a sense of superiority." The point of identifying "mistruths" as lies is not to personally insult, it's to call attention to the fact that they are *deliberate and knowing* "mistruths." > I believe it is unproductive to make personal attacks But only when *I* do it, apparently. You've spent many hundreds of words now instructing me in the undesirability of making personal attacks. How many have you spent instructing Barry, who has been doing most of the attacking? <snip> > I pointed out before that a number of folks here can't > seem to see the fights between me and Barry in anything > other than a "romantic" framework--either as a couple > who fight like cats and dogs and then fall into each > other's arms, or as parties to a bad marriage who can't > let go. That's part of what I'm talking about. > > **************** > Akasha: > > Ok. That is a good point. That Tracy Hepburn crap is stereotyping > you (and him to a degree). It is making a gender distinction where > it is not relevant. If I bicker with Barry, I don't think people > would make the same "jokes". Exactly. And if another man were fighting with Barry, I doubt that *only* the other guy would be chastised. Either neither of them would be, or both of them would be. > > > With strip clubs, I think a lot of you gents > > > don't see anything wrong with them because they > > > conform to expected patterns of female and male > > > behavior. You see them within that context. > > > > Quite off base. Personally, I see things wrong with strip clubs. I > > just don't happen to see exploitation and objectification. > > I've had the sense for awhile now that the discussion > has bogged down in psychobabble, and I think it may be > an avoidance tactic. > > ******************* > Akasha: > From my view, I don't see that. I am still gaining insight from it. > I don't see psychobabble. Can you be more specific? "Objectification," for one. You really should have a look at the article Tazarmfume linked to: http://www.sexuality.org/authors/steinberg/cn05.html <snip> > Here is a slightly more blunt take on it. No one minds if a > SUBSTANTIVE point is corrected. (they do get tired of large numbers > of, in their view, inconsequential ones being corrected) But most of > all, most people are quite turned off by name calling. So if you > wish to continue to call Barry names, and then justify it at > length, people get irritated. In their irritation, they can get a > bit over the top. The result is what you feel as being dumped on. Why aren't you saying this to Barry? *That's* my point, and you keep tiptoeing past it. Barry's doing just as much if not more of the name-calling, and most of the time he starts it. I'm not asking you to do this, but I'm pretty sure that if you went back over our exchanges here-- actually if you went back even further and started with what Barry said about me before I got here--you would have a rather different outlook on the situation. Again, I think you and others have been focusing on what I say to and about Barry rather than what Barry says to and about me. And I think it's because my behavior--standing up for myself and fighting back, giving as good as I get--is not what you expect, or are used to seeing, from a woman. It doesn't fit the pattern, so it stands out. Again, this isn't *sexism*. It's just a deeply embedded perspective that's so pervasive you aren't aware of it. ------------------------ Yahoo! Groups Sponsor --------------------~--> Get fast access to your favorite Yahoo! Groups. Make Yahoo! your home page http://us.click.yahoo.com/dpRU5A/wUILAA/yQLSAA/JjtolB/TM --------------------------------------------------------------------~-> To subscribe, send a message to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] Or go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/FairfieldLife/ and click 'Join This Group!' Yahoo! Groups Links <*> To visit your group on the web, go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/FairfieldLife/ <*> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] <*> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to: http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
