--- In [email protected], turquoiseb <no_reply@...> wrote: > > OK, you sucked me in. !-)
HA! Attention-vampire that I am! My evil plan is now complete! :-) > I'm gonna have to challenge > your idea that what an individual "wants" has anything > to do with what he gets, at least in the pursuit of > that-which-cannot-be-pursued, enlightenment. > > That kinda sounds like ego to me. "*I* caused this to > happen to *me*." Yeah, when it got down to it at the "end," it was all about the ego getting what it finally, ultimately, painfully needed, realizing with a flash of shock and awe that ego and "God" or reality or Truth were actually, finally, incredible as it might seem, *actually on the same page* and what the ego deep-down NEEDED, the Universe also NEEDED for the ego. That deep-down Reality actually did give a shit, was big enough to care about the tiny insignificant stuff like an ego too. > I'm more of a believer in "Shit just happens." :-) Yes, I am sure that That too is True :-) > Any of my "enlightenment" experiences -- WHATEVER the > fuck they were -- occurred when they fuckin' felt like > it, not when I felt like it. Has your experience been > different? That was ABSOLUTELY my experience, I would say, until the last few weeks before the "death" or "crucifixion" or Awakening or permanent shift of "Brahman remembering Brahman." During that last week or two boundaries started to melt as I found I could "talk myself into" or out of pretty much any state or experience at will, shifting my perceptions at their root via a kind of intellectual dialogue. > I mean, my first 24/7-for-several-weeks experience of > such an experience may have happened on a TM course, > which can be construed to have involved "wanting" or will, > but many of my subsequent experiences have not. I once > was hurled into a several-week period of "enlightenment > experiences" during a mugging attempt in Amsterdam. The > guy pulled his knife, and I transcended and "stayed > there" for quite a while. I also kicked his ass and > sent him away without his booty. :-) > > Not meaning to shit on your party, I nonetheless would > be curious as to whether you feel you can detect a one- > to-one-relationship between you "wanting" to shift into > a different state of consciousness, and that happening. Yes, but only as everything drew to a close, as mentioned above. > In real time, that is. It's easy to create the illusion > of such an IF - THEN relationship in retrospect. :-) :-) :-) Yeah, it was in real time, but as time -- or my belief in its pre-eminence -- was rapidly evaporating. Thanks for the rap, Turq. I enjoyed this a lot :-) :-) :-)
