--- In [email protected], "authfriend" <authfriend@...> wrote: > > I said, "It comes across to me as..." Obviously an > opinion, not an "utter certainty." How could you have > "failed to register" that?
Easily, evidently! I don't believe I ever claimed to have an infallible perception of Reality, far from it. (If I ever did, I was most certainly mistaken.) In context -- "I know what he's saying too. It comes across to me as egotistical. And phony as a three-dollar bill. (I'm sure *he* thinks it's true, but that's the egotism, IMHO.)" -- that is how it registered with me at the time. I see your "comes across" and IMHO, but taken together with "I know what he's saying too" and the rest of the short declarative sentences, it didn't really register, didn't come across to me then as either a momentary subjective opinion or humble. More to the point, it felt to me not simply like disbelief, but even like quite a strong and active dislike and disapproval, or even condemnation, for reasons unclear to me. I probably should not have lumped you in, even "apparently," with Ravi's more all-inclusive condemnation of my entire "spiritual life," but that's how it essentially felt to me, as if you both were in here together, almost in chorus, both quite thoroughly unhappy with me. There is often an eternal feel to these wavicles of me when they first arise in my awareness, and such is how it felt here. I appreciate your course-correction, but really, it makes no real difference to me. Phoniness and egotism and dislike and judgment etc. ARE a significant part of who I am, and always have been, and always will be, doubtless, like every other quality there is. I am not going to please everyone all the time, not even myself. Not a lot of fun on the face of it, but there it is. I have no real choice, as far as I can see, but to love it. I hope my apology to you (which feels rather odd, my apologizing to you for misconstruing and unintentionally mischaracterizing the depth and extent of your -- what? contempt? dislike? disbelief in me at any rate) -- will make a difference to you, anyhow. Thanks again for being You. You have at probably as often as Turq, or Vaj, or Curtis, provided me with the most unusually intense and difficult and interesting flavors of Us. Which is not to say that you are in any way like them, of course, other than your all being my teachers. > http://groups.yahoo.com/group/FairfieldLife/message/353026 > > Nor was my comment about your "entire spiritual life." > At least I *hope* what comes across to me as phony > isn't the entirety of your spiritual life. OK. Thanks. Yours as always, *L*L*L* R.
