salyavin, I guess apologies can have different contexts. For me they are about
healing. But I can see how they could be seen as part of a power struggle. And
the thing is, even though we don't cause the emotions of others, we do
contribute to them. Good distinction to make if we want to relate to people in
an ongoing way.
From: salyavin808 <[email protected]>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Friday, November 28, 2014 1:38 PM
Subject: Re: [FairfieldLife] Apologies...
---In [email protected], <sharelong60@...> wrote :
Salyavin, if I apologize, what's included is an intention to avoid doing the
hurtful behavior in the future. Heck we all do awful stuff sometimes. I think
it's a valid part of relating to others that we acknowledge our part in their
upset and then soldier on.
Yes, the operative word here is IF. Trouble is these days a lot of people think
that because they are offended by something it automatically follows that
someone has done something wrong and should apologise. It seems like simply
being offended gives them the right to control other's opinions. Beats me.
From: salyavin808 <[email protected]>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Friday, November 28, 2014 12:40 PM
Subject: [FairfieldLife] Apologies...
"If I was the moderator of this group I'd put him on probation with a very
strong warning and demand an apology to the entire group and until he does I'd
limit his participation."
I don't know who wrote the above but it's a familiar part of modern life that
makes me scratch my head.
Seems like every day some celebrity/sports star/politician says some generally
inconsequential thing and immediately faces endless calls to apologise from the
massed ranks of the professionally offended. Usually via Twitter.
I don't know why they bother, because what good is an insincere apology? But
it's not really about that, what it's about is control and humiliation.
Everyone who complains knows that the apology is worth nothing and that people
don't really see the error of their ways and swiftly adopt the morals of the
herd, but if they can get someone to say what they want them to say it makes
them happy because their will has been bent and it acts as a warning to others.
Conform or we'll nag you endlessly. Is this the Internet as the great leveller,
or a growing inability of people to accept that not everyone sees the world the
same way they do?
I knew this girl who was a right arrogant bitch, whenever I complained about
her behaviour she'd just say "I'm sorry you're offended by what I said" which
is marvellous because it put all the blame on me for her attitude problem. And
she never understood why that drove me crazy, no empathy you see. I wonder what
that's like? But all I know is she wouldn't even think to wonder.
But if I ever annoy the world and the Twitteratti come banging on my cyber door
for an apology that's what I'd say and see if any of the dumb fucks notice
they've just been insulted further.
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