salyavin, I guess apologies can have different contexts. For me they are about 
healing. But I can see how they could be seen as part of a power struggle. And 
the thing is, even though we don't cause the emotions of others, we do 
contribute to them. Good distinction to make if we want to relate to people in 
an ongoing way.

      From: salyavin808 <no_re...@yahoogroups.com>
 To: FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com 
 Sent: Friday, November 28, 2014 1:38 PM
 Subject: Re: [FairfieldLife] Apologies...
   
    


---In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, <sharelong60@...> wrote :

Salyavin, if I apologize, what's included is an intention to avoid doing the 
hurtful behavior in the future. Heck we all do awful stuff sometimes. I think 
it's a valid part of relating to others that we acknowledge our part in their 
upset and then soldier on.

Yes, the operative word here is IF. Trouble is these days a lot of people think 
that because they are offended by something it automatically follows that 
someone has done something wrong and should apologise. It seems like simply 
being offended gives them the right to control other's opinions. Beats me.
  From: salyavin808 <no_re...@yahoogroups.com>
 To: FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com 
 Sent: Friday, November 28, 2014 12:40 PM
 Subject: [FairfieldLife] Apologies...
 
 

"If I was the moderator of this group I'd put him on probation with a very 
strong warning and demand an apology to the entire group and until he does I'd 
limit his participation." 

I don't know who wrote the above but it's a familiar part of modern life that 
makes me scratch my head.
Seems like every day some celebrity/sports star/politician says some generally 
inconsequential thing and immediately faces endless calls to apologise from the 
massed ranks of the professionally offended. Usually via Twitter.
I don't know why they bother, because what good is an insincere apology? But 
it's not really about that, what it's about is control and humiliation. 
Everyone who complains knows that the apology is worth nothing and that people 
don't really see the error of their ways and swiftly adopt the morals of the 
herd, but if they can get someone to say what they want them to say it makes 
them happy because their will has been bent and it acts as a warning to others. 
Conform or we'll nag you endlessly. Is this the Internet as the great leveller, 
or a growing inability of people to accept that not everyone sees the world the 
same way they do?
I knew this girl who was a right arrogant bitch, whenever I complained about 
her behaviour she'd just say "I'm sorry you're offended by what I said" which 
is marvellous because it put all the blame on me for her attitude problem. And 
she never understood why that drove me crazy, no empathy you see. I wonder what 
that's like? But all I know is she wouldn't even think to wonder. 
But if I ever annoy the world and the Twitteratti come banging on my cyber door 
for an apology that's what I'd say and see if any of the dumb fucks notice 
they've just been insulted further.



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