Imagine the day in the life of a cetain 5 year old boy. An only
child, so no siblings to confide in or get help from.
The boy comes home from school. It's freezing cold, blizzard
conditions outside. The boy is as usual made to strip completely
outside before entering the house. The boy has mud on his pants, so
his mother's enraged. The boy is taken to the basement and placed in
one of the wash tubs to be bathed, as dirtying the upstairs and
especially the bathroom/bathtub is a no-no. While the boy is being
bathed, his mother yells and screams at him for getting mud on his
clothes (despite the fact that his clothes are stripped off him and
washed every time he arrives at the house). His mother goes into her
usual almost hourly tirade that the boy is no good, that he will get
nowhere in life, that no one loves him, that he'll never be loved,
have any friends or succeed in life. That God hates him and that
he'll be forever damned. She tries to drown him once again, but he
manages to free himself from her grasp before losing consciousness.
Enraged more, his mother takes the stick she uses to poke clothes into
dye or bleach in that sink and beats him with it.
Eventually dad comes home and is enraged that his wife is angry at the
boy. He makes the boy kneel for hours, naked, in the closet of his
bedroom on coins which dig into his knees, to pray to God to become a
good boy, despite the fact that he is forever damned, that he is
useless, terrible, that he is not loved, will never be loved, will
never succeed, never have friends, will be shunned by all.
Imagine that afternoon and early evening are repeated from the age of
1 to 18 years old. Imagine that the fraternal uncle the boy begs help
from decides to fuck him up the ass, dry, at the age of 7, while the
boy pleads to his uncle for deliverance from these parents between the
strokes which tear apart his rectum.
Imagine a child who spends most of his time shaking and trembling and
going to the police and neighbors begging for help but being shunned
and told to go away and to stop shaking and trembling like that.
There's a possibility that someone having grown up under such
circumstances might have "issues". That the person might have
"problems with anger" and might not want to be characterized by the
resident psychologist of a forum related to TM and spiritual matters
to be damned forever because of his "character". Suppose while the
man who survived that has been through the therapy but TM and other
spiritual practices at times unearth some of the pain of the past.
Imagine that when TM causes some unstressing of the pain, the
utterances of pain the man writes into an occasional post are used
with glee by people on the spiritual path and even a pundit in
training to be something they can use to pounce upon the man and
denounce him and damn him forever in post after post.
Emotional healing is difficult. It is painful beyond belief. Bearing
it all without complaint, without revealing the pain or the past but
being denounced by people who take sport in it like they're in the
audience at the Coloseum in Rome two millenium ago is just another
part of the life of someone officially designated by health
professionals who are experts in their field as a "survivor" is just
another afternoon in the life of such a person. It hurts. But it
doesn't hurt as much as the typical afternoon the person faced as a 5
year old.
It hurts to read the stories of spoiled brats who gloat in the fact
that they had to join Purusha while students at MIU because they
wanted to take a break from screwing in the recesses of the Men's Dome
in Fairfield during meetings and ceremonies. The very dome the man
goes to to do program and/or round to help purge himself of those
scary memories. It hurts to read about the spoiled brat telling about
working in the French Quarter and having women bare their breasts to
them while they work and to have people counsel the spoiled brat on
how to declare bankruptcy to avoid paying off the debts they willingly
took on while screwing in the recesses of the Men's Dome at MIU. It
hurts to be denounced when in posts one objects to such things.
But that's just another afternoon as life of a survivor who's going
through the emotional healing.
