This was incredibly enlightening. I have been over thinking things a bit as I go through and re-read what I wrote months ago. I've been really concerned about "getting it right". My fear is that I'll finish the book, circulate it, and wind up being rejected because I made some really basic mistakes that could have been fixed with a little effort.
The funny thing is that it never really sat well with me that I wrote several chapters from my villain's perspective. I found that one of two things would happen: either I would have to reveal too much, killing some of the suspense, or I would wind up arbitrarily holding back information at a point in time when it would definitely be on his mind (which, I think, would wind up momentarily taking the reader out of the story). Originally, I felt that allowing the reader to see inside the villain's head would make him less cliche (I wanted to avoid the mustache-twisting "Where's the rent" villain). But the more I think about it, and read what you said in your email, the more I think making him the PoV character in a few scenes is too intimate. It might actually serve the story better to keep some distance between him and the reader. After I pointed out the way in which I overthink things in the first paragraph, it would appear the second paragraph is pure irony :) Nat On Sun, Jan 29, 2012 at 3:58 PM, Raymond E. Feist <[email protected]>wrote: > > On Jan 29, 2012, at 9:30 AM, Nat Russo wrote: > > > Hi Ray, > > > > Have you ever come across a scene on revision that you were so unhappy > with you just completely rewrote it? > > Rarely, if you mean delete it entirely and start over. Usually if I tweak > the setting, or change something around, say take a scene that had Jim > Dasher and Pug and change it to a scene with Jim Dasher and Miranda, or > take a Miranda and Pug scene and make it a Miranda and Nakor scene, it > suddenly makes sense. I have deleted stuff but it's when I realize it's > unnecessary to the story. > > > > This happened to me while I was writing yesterday. I re-read the scene > that introduces my antagonist and decided it just wasn't working. So now > I'm sitting here making a bullet-point list of everything I need to > accomplish in the scene and I'm going to have another go at it. > > Do not over-think. "Paralysis through analysis" can totally waist your > time. So, introducing a new character? There are tricks to the trade. > Tell the reader only what the reader must absolutely know at that point. > This also depends on your narrative style and voice. First person can > say, "I didn't know who the man with the smoking gun was who had just saved > my life, but years later I knew he was . . . " Third person: Jack felt > panic for the first time in his life when he heard the gunshot boom, but a > moment later he realized it had come from behind him. He saw the man who > had just pointed his revolver at him falling forward, his blank eyes > highlighting the masked of surprise that had been his last thought. Jack > spun and saw the stranger there, putting his guy away as he glanced at Jack > with an expression that said he knew something that Jack didn't know, such > as who was that man who had just tried to kill him and why. > > OK, so that's 90 seconds off the top of my head, but the point here is > that you have to hit the ground running in such a way as the reader > instantly wants to know what's going on and sticks around to find out. It > doesn't have to be an action scene. Jack looked up from his book to take a > sip of his Cafe Americano and saw the man in the tweed jacked. It felt as > he was almost a friend, despite the two men never having spoken. But for > over a month now, neither man's routine had varied: Jack arrived at the > coffee shop at 7:15 for a half-hour to read the paper and enjoy a decent > coffee before the endless cups of bad instant at the office that would > punctuate the morning, and the man in the tweed coat arrived at 7:30; Jack > could set his watch by it. With slight amusement Jack noticed the man > repeated the same order he had every morning since Jack had first noticed > him. Jack had it memorized: a small espresso, a sesame seed bagel with > cream cheese, and a danish in a bag to go. Jack considered the oddity of > lives passing so closely, but never really touching, and was about to > return to his paper, when he noticed another man, large and looking out of > place in his particular shop, moving to stand behind the tweed coated man, > brushing against him as he put something in the pocket of the man's coat. > A muffled "sorry" and he was off with the man in tweed muttering "no > worries" and returning to his order. > > Now, in that example (which probably needs a decent rewrite) when the man > in the tweed jacket shows up dead before the end of chapter one, Jack's off > on an adventure. > > There are other examples; open any really good book and you'll find one. > > So, do not over thing. Just write the damn thing. > > > > > > The original scene was a whole lot of sitting and thinking. I wanted > the reader to get into the head of my "bad guy" to see how he justified his > own perspective on things, but I think I overdid it. I'm going to try it > again by moving some of my other characters into the scene and adding a bit > of conflict. I'll still internalize him a bit, but it may be less "boring" > if there's some actual action taking place. > > > > > > Unless you're brilliant (and I'm not saying you're not) getting into the > head of the heavy/villain/bad guy is a serious break with how to suck in > your reader. Your reader wants someone to care about, and unless you're > trying to do what Mike Resnick did with Walpurgis III, sending the galaxy's > nasties assassin after the galaxy's most heinous mass murderer (I call it > bad guys and worse guys) you've got a real tough sell. Your reader will > think your trying to make the heavy sympathetic which is a mistake. > Unless you're pulling what I did in Darkness, where it ends up that the > Heavy (Guy) isn't a heavy but really a guy with a different approach that > makes sense to him, you've doing it the hard way. > > As my dad used to say, "Kid, give the audience someone to root for." > > Good luck. > > Best, R,E.F. > > ---- > www.crydee.com > > Never attribute to malice what can satisfactorily be explained away by > stupidity. > > > > > > > > -- Sent from my Crappy Laptop (tm) using a poor excuse for a web browser.
