On Mon, Jan 30, 2012 at 8:54 AM, Nat Russo <[email protected]> wrote:

> This was incredibly enlightening.  I have been over thinking things a bit
> as I go through and re-read what I wrote months ago.  I've been really
> concerned about "getting it right".  My fear is that I'll finish the book,
> circulate it, and wind up being rejected because I made some really basic
> mistakes that could have been fixed with a little effort.
>
> The funny thing is that it never really sat well with me that I wrote
> several chapters from my villain's perspective.  I found that one of two
> things would happen:  either I would have to reveal too much, killing some
> of the suspense, or I would wind up arbitrarily holding back information at
> a point in time when it would definitely be on his mind (which, I think,
> would wind up momentarily taking the reader out of the story).  Originally,
> I felt that allowing the reader to see inside the villain's head would make
> him less cliche (I wanted to avoid the mustache-twisting "Where's the rent"
> villain).  But the more I think about it, and read what you said in your
> email, the more I think making him the PoV character in a few scenes is too
> intimate.  It might actually serve the story better to keep some distance
> between him and the reader.
>
> After I pointed out the way in which I overthink things in the first
> paragraph, it would appear the second paragraph is pure irony :)
>
> Nat
>
>
>
> On Sun, Jan 29, 2012 at 3:58 PM, Raymond E. Feist 
> <[email protected]>wrote:
>
>>
>> On Jan 29, 2012, at 9:30 AM, Nat Russo wrote:
>>
>> > Hi Ray,
>> >
>> > Have you ever come across a scene on revision that you were so unhappy
>> with you just completely rewrote it?
>>
>> Rarely, if you mean delete it entirely and start over.  Usually if I
>> tweak the setting, or change something around, say take a scene that had
>> Jim Dasher and Pug and change it to a scene with Jim Dasher and Miranda, or
>> take a Miranda and Pug scene and make it a Miranda and Nakor scene, it
>> suddenly makes sense.  I have deleted stuff but it's when I realize it's
>> unnecessary to the story.
>> >
>> > This happened to me while I was writing yesterday.  I re-read the scene
>> that introduces my antagonist and decided it just wasn't working.  So now
>> I'm sitting here making a bullet-point list of everything I need to
>> accomplish in the scene and I'm going to have another go at it.
>>
>> Do not over-think.  "Paralysis through analysis" can totally waist your
>> time.  So, introducing a new character?  There are tricks to the trade.
>>  Tell the reader only what the reader must absolutely know at that point.
>>  This also depends on your narrative style and voice.  First person can
>> say, "I didn't know who the man with the smoking gun was who had just saved
>> my life, but years later I knew he was . . . "   Third person: Jack felt
>> panic for the first time in his life when he heard the gunshot boom, but a
>> moment later he realized it had come from behind him.  He saw the man who
>> had just pointed his revolver at him falling forward, his blank eyes
>> highlighting the masked of surprise that had been his last thought.  Jack
>> spun and saw the stranger there, putting his guy away as he glanced at Jack
>> with an expression that said he knew something that Jack didn't know, such
>> as who was that man who had just tried to kill him and why.
>>
>> OK, so that's 90 seconds off the top of my head, but the point here is
>> that you have to hit the ground running in such a way as the reader
>> instantly wants to know what's going on and sticks around to find out.  It
>> doesn't have to be an action scene.  Jack looked up from his book to take a
>> sip of his Cafe Americano and saw the man in the tweed jacked.  It felt as
>> he was almost a friend, despite the two men never having spoken.  But for
>> over a month now, neither man's routine had varied: Jack arrived at the
>> coffee shop at 7:15 for a half-hour to read the paper and enjoy a decent
>> coffee before the endless cups of bad instant at the office that would
>> punctuate the morning, and the man in the tweed coat arrived at 7:30; Jack
>> could set his watch by it.  With slight amusement Jack noticed the man
>> repeated the same order he had every morning since Jack had first noticed
>> him.  Jack had it memorized: a small espresso, a sesame seed bagel with
>> cream cheese, and a danish in a bag to go.  Jack considered the oddity of
>> lives passing so closely, but never really touching, and was about to
>> return to his paper, when he noticed another man, large and looking out of
>> place in his particular shop, moving to stand behind the tweed coated man,
>> brushing against him as he put something in the pocket of the man's coat.
>>  A muffled "sorry" and he was off with the man in tweed muttering "no
>> worries" and returning to his order.
>>
>> Now, in that example (which probably needs a decent rewrite) when the man
>> in the tweed jacket shows up dead before the end of chapter one, Jack's off
>> on an adventure.
>>
>> There are other examples; open any really good book and you'll find one.
>>
>> So, do not over thing.  Just write the damn thing.
>>
>>
>> >
>> > The original scene was a whole lot of sitting and thinking.  I wanted
>> the reader to get into the head of my "bad guy" to see how he justified his
>> own perspective on things, but I think I overdid it.  I'm going to try it
>> again by moving some of my other characters into the scene and adding a bit
>> of conflict.  I'll still internalize him a bit, but it may be less "boring"
>> if there's some actual action taking place.
>> >
>>
>>
>>
>> Unless you're brilliant (and I'm not saying you're not) getting into the
>> head of the heavy/villain/bad guy is a serious break with how to suck in
>> your reader.  Your reader wants someone  to care about, and unless you're
>> trying to do what Mike Resnick did with Walpurgis III, sending the galaxy's
>> nasties assassin after the galaxy's most heinous mass murderer (I call it
>> bad guys and worse guys) you've got a real tough sell.  Your reader will
>> think your trying to make the heavy sympathetic which is a mistake.
>> Unless you're pulling what I did in Darkness, where it ends up that the
>> Heavy (Guy) isn't a heavy but really a guy with a different approach that
>> makes sense to him, you've doing it the hard way.
>>
>> As my dad used to say, "Kid, give the audience someone to root for."
>>
>> Good luck.
>>
>> Best, R,E.F.
>>
>> ----
>> www.crydee.com
>>
>> Never attribute to malice what can satisfactorily be explained away by
>> stupidity.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>
>
> --
> Sent from my Crappy Laptop (tm) using a poor excuse for a web browser.
>
>

So awesome.  I suddenly want Ray to write a hard boiled detective story.
 Your writing style totally fits the genre - stripped down and direct (in
the best possible way).

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