On Jan 30, 2012, at 9:49 AM, John wrote: > Raymond E. Feist <[email protected]> writes > >> Jack felt panic for the first time in his life when he heard the gunshot >> boom, but a moment later he realized it had come from behind him. He saw >> the man who had just pointed his revolver at him falling forward, his blank >> eyes highlighting the masked of surprise that had been his last thought. >> Jack spun and saw the stranger there, putting his guy away as he glanced at >> Jack with an expression that said he knew something that Jack didn't know, >> such as who was that man who had just tried to kill him and why. >> >> OK, so that's 90 seconds off the top of my head, but the point here is that >> you have to hit the ground running in such a way as the reader instantly >> wants to know what's going on and sticks around to find out. It doesn't have >> to be an action scene. Jack looked up from his book to take a sip of his >> Cafe Americano and saw the man in the tweed jacked. It felt as he was almost >> a friend, despite the two men never having spoken. But for over a month >> now, neither man's routine had varied: Jack arrived at the coffee shop at >> 7:15 for a half-hour to read the paper and enjoy a decent coffee before the >> endless cups of bad instant at the office that would punctuate the morning, >> and the man in the tweed coat arrived at 7:30; Jack could set his watch by >> it. With slight amusement Jack noticed the man repeated the same order he >> had every morning since Jack had first noticed him. Jack had it memorized: >> a small espresso, a sesame seed bagel with cream cheese, and a danish in a >> bag to go. Jack considered the oddity of lives passing so closely, but never >> really touching, and was about to return to his paper, when he noticed >> another man, large and looking out of place in his particular shop, moving >> to stand behind the tweed coated man, brushing against him as he put >> something in the pocket of the man's coat. A muffled "sorry" and he was off >> with the man in tweed muttering "no worries" and returning to his order. >> >> Now, in that example (which probably needs a decent rewrite) when the man in >> the tweed jacket shows up dead before the end of chapter one, Jack's off on >> an adventure. > > So are you going to finish the story tonight, or do we have to wait till > bedtime tomorrow :) > > Have to say if that was on the back of a book, I would probably buy it to > find out more. > -
Thanks. I have had some practice at this sort of thing over the last 30 years. <G> Best,R.E.F. ---- www.crydee.com Never attribute to malice what can satisfactorily be explained away by stupidity.
