Father, as designated point man for the evening, does quick draw and shoots the knife out of the assailants' hand with single shot, then announces, "Freeze, y'all are under arrest for assault."
Other family members draw their firearms and form defense perimeter. Assailant keeps coming, so wife decks him with flying side kick.
Kids use belts to tie unconscious assailant up.
One of the kids calls 911 on his cell phone, gives exact coordinates of location taken from his GPS unit. When officers arrive, family insist on being given credit for making custodial arrest.
Family members testify at trial for defense in support of insanity defense, arguing that anyone who attacks armed Texans with only a knife is crazy. Indeed, that anyone who attacks Texans with anything is crazy.
Assailant is committed to mental institution as suicidal, and the Diagnostic Manual of the American Psychiatric Association is belatedly updated to add "attacking Texans" to the list of symptoms of psychosis and suicidal depression.
After short say in mental asylum, assailant is released, since Texas doesn't spend much money on mental institutions, and assailant, now in a permanent traumatized state, is put in a nursing home for the indigent.
Cost: Family becomes famous, writes book which sells well, and the taxes they pay cover the costs of trying and confining the assailant.
-- Jon
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