It's not about the manners, it's about learning to distance from discomfort. Like continuing to press a climb up a hill on a bicycle while the lactic acid burns your legs.
Spend some time around someone with borderline personality disorder for a while, you will change your mind. Road rage is a common example. The other day there was a bicycle that I was approaching who wasn't going very fast, even for a bicyclist. She did have every right to be there, and so I was also going slow to wait for her to get around a parked car before I passed. Meanwhile, some lunatic comes up behind us laying on his horn, oscillating from the left side of the lane to the right trying to find a way around. Because he went so far right, there was no way he couldn't see the bicyclist. I don't have a lot of patience for this kind of behavior, so I indicated my displeasure with a middle finger. This individual then roars in front of us both and puts his car horizontally in front of mine. He gets out and starts banging on my window to get his "catharsis". Had I determined he was an actual threat to us, I might have pushed his car out the way with mine (which was much larger), or had I a weapon, shot him. F*ck his catharsis, he can share the minor frustration of daily life with the rest of us, and in silence please. There is no benefit in his freak out, it was basically a criminal act as far as I was concerned. There are situations which a rant is truly righteous, but I have found mostly no one cares about that. Usually this discovery comes at some personal or professional cost. -----Original Message----- From: Friam <[email protected]> On Behalf Of glen Sent: Thursday, April 28, 2022 1:20 PM To: [email protected] Subject: Re: [FRIAM] A million year old driving assistant "This is your last free article." [baaaaahhhhhhhh] Now what am I gonna read this weekend!?!? Damn you! [stomp][stomp][stomp] Of course, I disagree completely with the point being made, there. The freak-out improves relationships and rationality, smooths over difficulties in the real world, and has all sorts of narrative-breaking, cathartic benefits. In the same way that convictions to ideologies foster conservatism and hamper progress, the suppression of one's freak-outs amounts to rejecting a large array of measures and indicators one might ordinarily use to understand the world. The problem isn't the freak-out. The problem is a lack of tolerance *for* freak-outs. It's the repressed Victorians running around complaining about the lack of manners and decorum around them. Please. Don't repress your freak-outs. We're tough. We can withstand your freak-out and use it to better plan for the future. The last thing we need is to turn into a bunch of dead-affect emotionless, freak-out-free psychopaths. Where would stand-up comedy be without freak-outs? Where would we get our qualia-laden *rants* from? What even is laughing if *not* a kind of freak-out? I haven't had the giggles in decades. But for some reason, a group of us were eating lunch a few weeks ago. Someone told a joke. Another someone kept laughing. I mean, even after the topic had changed and everyone'd moved on. This dude kept laughing. I tried to take a sip of beer and I ended up snorting it ... just because that other dude kept laughing. I'm allergic to barley. So when I snort beer it seriously messes me up for about an hour or 2. Fvcking laughing. Stupid freak-out. I should have suppressed it. On 4/28/22 12:53, Marcus Daniels wrote: > “Emotional flooding might have helped your Pleistocene ancestors survive, but > it is maladapted to most modern interactions.” > > https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2022/04/how-to-manage-emotions-and-reactions/629692/ > > <https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2022/04/how-to-manage-emotions-and-reactions/629692/> -- Mɥǝu ǝlǝdɥɐuʇs ɟᴉƃɥʇ' ʇɥǝ ƃɹɐss snɟɟǝɹs˙ -. --- - / ...- .- .-.. .. -.. / -- --- .-. ... . / -.-. --- -.. . FRIAM Applied Complexity Group listserv Fridays 9a-12p Friday St. Johns Cafe / Thursdays 9a-12p Zoom bit.ly/virtualfriam un/subscribe http://redfish.com/mailman/listinfo/friam_redfish.com FRIAM-COMIC http://friam-comic.blogspot.com/ archives: 5/2017 thru present https://redfish.com/pipermail/friam_redfish.com/ 1/2003 thru 6/2021 http://friam.383.s1.nabble.com/ -. --- - / ...- .- .-.. .. -.. / -- --- .-. ... . / -.-. --- -.. . FRIAM Applied Complexity Group listserv Fridays 9a-12p Friday St. Johns Cafe / Thursdays 9a-12p Zoom bit.ly/virtualfriam un/subscribe http://redfish.com/mailman/listinfo/friam_redfish.com FRIAM-COMIC http://friam-comic.blogspot.com/ archives: 5/2017 thru present https://redfish.com/pipermail/friam_redfish.com/ 1/2003 thru 6/2021 http://friam.383.s1.nabble.com/
