Dear Desi -
You will possibly not appreciate what i am about to say in this post, but just know that even though i disagree with you on many points, i do love you as a friend.
There are statements in your previous posts that made me feel a little concerned and you were not speaking like yourself to my ears. There are comments that you have made that might be seen as you putting yourself out there as being "better than" others (that is how it could sound) and you seem to be "judging" the rest of society. Maybe you did not mean it to sound that way but listen to what you wrote. You wrote:
"When I walk in the street and look at people 99,99 % of them look to me like they are sleepwalking."
You also wrote:
"Funny that when I look around me I sometimes think that I am the only one who is slightly awake."
And you wrote:
"Sensitive people are usually more empathic, more compassionate, more creative and artistic, and more gifted and intelligent than avarage people."
There are so very many sensitive people on this list: musicians, poets, artists, photographers, writers, computer geniuses, scientists... In fact, i think that EVERYONE here is sensitive and talented. And if EVERYONE here is sensitive and talented, that means that the "average person" here is sensitive and talented, and therefore to be sensitive and talented is to be "average." Desiree, we are ALL "average" - every last one of us. Yes, i am a "sensitive," as are you and Lobster and and Steve and Joe and ts and Val and others here... but we are also average.
What is wrong with being "average"? Every human being on the planet, every humble, average person, is a child of God... and equal in the eyes of God. And that is what matters.
It doesn't matter whether, when you look around, it seems to you that you are "the only one who is slightly awake."
What matters is not when you "look at people 99,99 % of them look to me like they are sleepwalking."
You say that "Sensitive people are usually more empathic, more compassionate, more creative and artistic, and more gifted and intelligent than avarage people." Sensitive people are no "better" than any other people in the eyes of God.
It feels to me as though you are attached to the notion of being sensitive and special. I feel that being human is a wonder and a miracle. And i feel that all are equal in the eyes of God, flaws and all. (And God knows i have many flaws, myself.)
--- Jigme Champa <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
> >Perhaps so.
> >However we exist in a world where being hypersensitive
> >is not conducive to our well being.
> >It involves suffering for us.
> >
> >
> I don't like the term "hypersensitive" it sounds like a disease.
No word games. Lobster used the correct word - it is indeed hypersensitive. You may not like the word, but it is the truth. It is a place on a continuum from hyposensitive to hypersensitive.
> I like to talk of highly sensitive and high sensitivity.
> Has a much better sound to it.
Word games. That is just word games to perpetuate an illusion. If feels as though you are attached to the specialness of being "highly sensitive." There is no specialness to this.
> We live in a world where many of our qualities could involve suffering.
> Being a woman can involve suffering. Even still in Western modern society.
> This involved a lot more suffering though a century and longer ago.
> The position of women has much improved though, mainly because many
> women in the past have stood up for us.> They have fought and suffered for us, so we got the right to vote, the
> right to have educations and carriers,
> so that we are now respected more, have more chances and more freedom.
> Being a colored person still involves a lot of suffering all around the
> world.
> But what if there had never been people who stood up against slavory,
> stood up against apartheid, stood up for equal rights of all people.
> Things would be much worse than they are now.
Desi, stop this. Here is the situation as you wrote about it in your first post on this subject:
"I was also taken by surprise how acutely I reacted to the paints. So, while I was loosing my breath I fled downstairs and vigorously coughing grabbed the phone, fled into the garden and there i called a friend. She came to my recue in the next 15 minutes. She's a very practical gal and always acts right away.
While I was completely overwhelmed and confused in the garden, she went upstairs, disconnected my computer and carried it into the kitchen cupboard (the only one that has a lock) put some more valuables in there, locked the door and handed me the key."
Desi, you wrote that a very brief exposure to paint odor left you "completely overwhelmed and confused in the garden."
This has NOTHING to do with slavery or women's rights. It has to do with your extreme reactivity to a stimulus in your environment. For me, that used to be an extremely, extremely hypersensitive "startle reflex" from the assaults. I have been able to desensitize a LOT (not totally) so i no longer jump a foot out of my chair if someone approaches me from behind suddenly. Literally, i would be so startled i would jump a foot involuntarily. I still have a strong startle reflex, but it is much much improved through taking steps to improve it. You have a hyperreactivity to some forms of external stims just like me. You can learn to manage your reactions. This has nothing to do with people fighting for our rights. It has to do with us taking responsibility.
Being "completely overwhelmed and confused in the garden" is not a usual reaction to painting being done... and both Lobster and i have been trying to suggest that you take steps to help yourself with the reactivity that you experience.
> >Therefore we are out of step with the real world
> >or if you must it is out of step . . .
> >
> >You will find it is easier to change one person
> >rather than the whole world.
> >
> >
> You know of me that I always look at myself and work with the
> transformational proces that comes from that. I go further in that than
> almost anybody I know.
You do not seem to be doing that in this case.
> However, (IMO) highly sensitive people are treated in an inferior way in
> this society...
> This is a bad situation, brought about by prejudice, lack of knowedge
> and mere convention.
How much of this do we contribute to, in terms of being part of the solution? Are we asking society to fix things, or is it up to us to learn how to work within society.
> Also highly sensitive people will notice sooner than other people that
> there is something wrong: like too much pollution, too much
> disquiet,etc. But soon many others will get sick as well.
> This will continue as long as we take it and do nothing about it and
> keep on thinking that we only have to change ourselves.
What environmental activism steps have you taken to fix this? What are you doing in an active way yourself on a day to day basis?
> >The question is one of managing sensitivity
> >and developing appropriate responses.
> >One such possibility is NLP, Visualisation and Hypnosis
> >- which you are familiar with.
> >
> >
> And which I already use!
> However I cannot change the disposition of being a
> highly sensitive person, and do not chose to.
You are attached to being "highly sensitive." You are capable of learning to handle reactivity to external stimuli so that you will not become 'completely overwhelmed and confused in the garden." You said you don't want solutions and so not offering any more. You WANT to be highly sensitive.
> The point is, that you even mention "complaining"
> I am sorry that you peceive it that way.
Desi, you are complaining. You are complaining that society has pollution and an economy that you do not like and that other people douse themselves with perfumes and that the workmen play their radios too loudly for you and that the tube lights shouldn't have to be on all the time and that society does not recognise the special gifts of the highly sensitive and that others appear to be sleepwalking. You are complaining.
> I know that you are a highly sensitive person too.
> The kind of responses I would like, are those of
> recognition and support.
Desi, the only support that i can offer you is what i offered yesterday or the day before - constructive suggestions to minimize your suffering. I believe that your Buddhist_Healing list is a good place for asking for that sort of support, though.
> Because I DO intend to stand up for myself and other
> highly sensitive people.
And you are also going to take steps to manage your reactivity to external stimuli? Are you going to encourage other highly sensitive people to take responsibility for themselves and work to learn to manage things?
> This is a matter that needs emancipation.
> I made a choise to do this, years ago.
I have worked as an activist with raising awareness within several major corporations and with state and federal agencies and a college around this sort of issue, specifically the rights of people who are rape survivors and people with labeled with mental illness and for people with certain diseases. I have arranged for corporations and the college to support survivors in several ways, including allowing time off for therapy. I have worked to make corporations and state agencies and a federal agency (the Internal Revenue Service of all places!!) aware of the need to honor the Americans with Disabilites Act. I took on the IRS, by myself, on this issue. I have taken on a couple of Fortune 500 corporations when it comes to women's rights and equal pay. I have done this without benefit of lawyers. AND i have been able to persuade them all and be an agent for change within them.
What actions have you taken towards ensuring the emancipation you talk about? What are you doing actively?
> You know, it strikes me how even, we sensitive people amongst each
> other, often think of our qualities in terms of disease,
Word games. There is a continuum along which conditions fall... there is a range that is considered normal and ranges at either end of the continuum. If something is in need of healing, if there is disease, it is NOT a bad thing... It is what it is. Playing around with the words for it does not change it. There is no stigma to having any particular condition or quality at all, even those that are labeled as diseases. You know that labels and diagnoses are the systems way of having insurers pay for medicines or your stipend. It is just their game.
> complaining and needing help and good advice in coping. I think we
> should stop that and be aware that we stand up for qualities, for
> strenght, being gifted and having inner wisdom.
Where is the inner wisdom in telling people you do NOT want solutions?
> And our needs, to be able to develop these qualities, so that we can be
> of better service to this world.
You cannot be of service to the world if you are "completely overwhelmed and confused in the garden."
First, you need to take responsibility for learning to manage your reactivity to external stim - it can be done. Once you have done that, taken care of yourself, maybe then you can be of service to others.
> I am not sure if I may need to practice my skilful means in
> communicating this even more, or that we are so used to hear the
> experiences connected to high sensitivity as problems, complaining,
> needing help. It is probably both.
You have indeed been complaining. Being too too sensitive is a problem when it leaves you overwhelmed.
> >Not a problem?
> >
> >Then we will not hear about it again . . .
> >
> >We shall see . . .
> >
> >
> I plan to keep talking about this, until I am heard, help to raise awareness, etc.
> I don't want to become preachy though.
> nd I am not sure if this is so much on topic for
> this group.
> (It is at the heart of my inspirition for FreeFlow for sure.)
I hope that FreeFlow will not be a place for "enabling" people to not take responsible active steps that they can in their own lives on a day-to-day basis to manage themselves.
> Yet I would like some support, of other sensitive people, who know what
> I am talking about.
You have been offered support and suggestions from two people here who do know what you are talking about.
> Not so much for me personally, though it would help.
> But most of all for many generations to come.
If you had a child who reacted to chemicals the way that you do, would you decline suggestions that can be effective in the short term for helping relieve their suffering? If you had a child who had the sleep-deprivation situation that you described, would you decline suggestions that could be effective in helping your child get more sleep? Or would you say as you did yesterday that you do NOT want solutions?
love and peace,
joyce
>
> Love,
> Desi
>
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