Sue Hartigan <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> writes:
Hi Kathy:
I have been thinking about what you have said here, and although I do
understand and agree with some of your points, I still think that
parents should be held liable for what their kids do.
The punishment thing that we have here in California isn't a thing where
if a kid doesn't go to school for a day or so the parents are called on
the carpet for it right then. There are a lot of counseling sessions,
talks with the kid, talks with the parents, etc before the law is ever
called in. Some of these kids have been out of school for months, and
warned many, many times. The parents have already been brought in to
the schools many times. If there is a problem with one kid in a family
of many, then the parent has a chance during this time to accept the
help that is offered.
The same goes for other things that these kids are doing. They have
instituted a curfew here. The first time a kid is picked up, they are
simply taken home, second time there is a fine. These kids are held
responsible and so are the parents who do nothing to stop this behavior.
The graffiti thing is another situation where the parents are made to
pay for the cleanup. The kids are put on work crews and have to go out
and clean up graffiti around the city. In this case I always thought
that parents were legally responsible for any damages that their kids
did. In fact my homeowners policy will pay for such things as broken
windows, etc that my kids might happen to do. I had to collect on it
once for a baseball that went through a huge picture window. :( I don't
know if it will pay for graffiti though.
What I am trying to say is that the problem is looked at from all angles
and help is offered to solve the problem, before the parent is
punished. They don't just punish a parent because a kid won't do what
they say, they offer help, etc. But if the parent refuses to cooperate
and allows the kid to do whatever they want, then it is time to let the
parent know that this can't be tolerated.
Sue
> Hi Sue :)
>
> I more than understand your position, and I think in a utopian world we
> would all like this, but in the real world things are much different.
>
> My main point is quite simply this, there are parent's that have done
> everything in their power to raise good children, or what society
> considers good children, but no matter what it's still the child's
> choice on what they do, if you threaten to put their parent's in jail,
> they really don't care. And that is my problem with this type of
> enforcement, you are punishing the wrong person. The child is doing the
> wrong, the child should go to jail.
>
> I realize there are people who are parent's that in reality shouldn't
> be, but I also realize the majority of people do care about their kids
> and what happens to them, yet we only seem to hear about the bad kids,
> mainly due to the fact that's the one every once notices. It's not that
> simple to have a child declared incorrigible in all states, it's a
> rather complicated and sometimes lengthy process.
>
> I don't see a solution in threatening a parent when it's the child who
> needs the discipline not the parent. If the parent can't control the
> child as happens in a lot of cases there could be other means, yes. Not
> all of them good. But, in the cases your looking at what do you do if a
> parent has done all they can, and raised three excellent children but
> one bad one? Do you seriously punish that parent for the bad child and
> not reward them due to the good children? Maybe instead of looking at
> the parent as the problem, they should look at the real problem the
> child who is causing all the disarray and misconduct.
>
> To sum it up I see this type of enforcement kind of like someone who
> kills another and they blame their killing on their parents for supposed
> abuse or neglect they felt when they were kids. I don't buy that defense
> at all, many people are abused and don't kill when they get older. Just
> as many kids have a damn hard life, but they can still make it if they
> want to. Put the blame where it belongs and quit trying to reflect it
> off of everyone except for the one who should be blamed.
--
Two rules in life:
1. Don't tell people everything you know.
2.
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