God you must have been bored out of your mind
Peter
Brad HALLETT wrote:
For the last hour I
have been shampooing the carpets with this whizzbang machine I hired from
Woolies, when suddenly it dawned on me - The job is so mind-numbingly boring
that I started thinking. Thought so many thoughts there were'nt a
thought I hadn't thunk (Violent Femmes) Tadah!!!!
I have devised a way to build a flow bench from a carpet shampoo machine.
Using dyed detergent, the long term foaming shit, I reckon I can trace
easily the airflow under vacuum of a cylinder head port using video equipment
and my PC. Then again maybe I should just have
a labotomy...... And for all those other henpecked
'cause without a rebel' types, here is my list of all time favourite bitch
jokes. f you are easily offended ring Lifeline. >
>>> > Why did God create woman?
> >>> > To carry semen from the bedroom to the
toilet.
> >>> >
> >>> > If the dove is the bird of peace, what
is the bird of true love?
> >>> > The swallow
> >>> >
> >>> > How do you annoy your girlfriend during
sex?
> >>> > Phone her.
> >>> >
> >>> > Why do women fake orgasms?
> >>> > Because they think men care.
> >>> >
> >>> > What is the definition of "making love"?
> >>> > Something a woman does while a guy is screwing
her.
> >>> >
> >>> > What should you do if your girlfriend starts
smoking?
> >>> > Slow down and use a lubricant.
> >>> >
> >>> > How many sexists does it take to change
a light bulb?
> >>> > None, let the bitch cook in the dark.
> >>> >
> >>> > What's the difference between pre-menstrual
tension and B.S.E?
> >>> > One's mad cow disease, the other's an agricultural
problem.
> >>> >
> >>> > What do you say to a woman with 2 black
eyes?
> >>> > Nothing, she's been told twice already.
> >>> >
> >>> > How many men does it take to open a beer?
> >>> > None. It should be opened by the time she
brings it
> >>> >
> >>> > How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
> >>> > Marry it!
> >>> >
> >>> > What is the difference between a battery
and a woman?
> >>> > A battery has a positive side.
> >>> >
> >>> > What are the three fastest means of communication?
> >>> > 1) Internet
> >>> > 2) Telephone
> >>> > 3) Telawoman
> >>> >
> >>> > Why do hunters make the best lovers?
> >>> > Because they go deep in the bush, shoot
more than once and they eat
what
> >>> > they shoot.
> >>> >
> >>> > How are fat girls and mopeds alike?
> >>> > They're both fun to ride until your friends
find out
> >>> >
> >>> > What should you give a woman who has everything?
> >>> > A man to show her how to work it.
> >>> >
> >>> > How are twisters (tornadoes) and marriage
alike? They both begin
with a
> >>> > lot
> >>> > of blowing and sucking, and in the end
you lose your house.
> >>> >
> >>> > Why does a bride smile when she walks up
the aisle?
> >>> > She knows she's given her last blow job.
> >>> >
> >>> > What's the difference between a bitch and
a whore?
> >>> > A whore sleeps with everyone at the party
and A bitch sleeps with
> >>everyone
> >>> >
> >>> > at the party except you.
> >>> >
> >>> > Why is the space between a women's breasts
and her hips called
awaist?
> >>> > Because you could easily fit another pair
of tits in there.
>
> >>> >
> >>> > Do you know why they call it the Wonder
Bra?
> >>> > When you take it off you wonder where her
tits went.
> >>> >
> >>> > How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?
> >>> > Put a nipple on it.
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