I agree, Francis, that the violation of trust and authority become core issues for the child. What would bring an adult to thinking that such violations are allowable can only be answered by that adult. I am not a big fan of freud, but mothered two boys who each, at age four, asked if they could marry me when their father died. So interesting. To the mind of a child, the differentiation between love, sex, affection, attention are indeed blurry.
On Apr 9, 1:05 pm, frantheman <[email protected]> wrote: > While I can understand (and indeed share) Molly's visceral repugnance > at the idea of sexual relationships with children, I do see some > validity in the arguments of those arguing here for "de- > emotionalising" the issue. > > Sexual relationships (in the sense in which these are understood from > the point of view of sexually mature [physically] adults) with > children are immoral because they are always an abuse of power and > trust. In addition, there are many testimonies, both from victims and > experts, concerning major damage to the ongoing personal and sexual > development of the victims as a result (even if there may be children > who have not, apparently, suffered as a result of sexual abuse by > adults). > > We should be aware of some important distinctions here. Children are > not asexual, they have their own appropriate sexuality. There is a > childish sexual aspect for children to relationships, particularly to > their parents and those they love, and especially regarding their > mothers. There seems to be little doubt that nursing/breast feeding > has a sexual component for infants and small children. This is natural > and inevitable, as children experience holistically and completely - > growing up and learning has much to do with developing capacities to > differentiate. > > I've referred to Freud here before and, even if you don't want to go > all the way with him, there seems to be little doubt that the process > of maturing/developing/growing up has a deep sexual vector. The vital > distinction is that children have a right to their own natural sexual > development (which includes inquisitive investigation of their own > bodies and the bodies of others). On THEIR terms, and in the security > that adults will guide them, give them answers, show them limits and > not abuse their trust. I see the disappearance of a lot of prudery and > sexual repression in (western) society in the past half century as a > positive development - growing up in Ireland in the 60s, I never saw > my parents naked - my daughters' experience was different (and, I > believe, better), and it certainly helped me (and them) being > challenged by questions like, "Papa, why have you got a penis and I > don't?" :-) > > The incest question is complex. I tend to see adult sexual > relationships between parents and children as deeply problematic, > because they seem to me to be distortions of the "normal" parent-child > relationship. The sexual urge and the urge for power (over others) are > very strong in human personalities and related to each other on many > levels.. Parent-child relationships have a large and important power > vector, which only works because it takes place within a context of > love and trust. But inequality of power is one of the most corrupting > things for any sexual relationship and such considerations raise major > problems for sexual relationships between adult parents and children. > Historically, taboos surrounding sexual relations between adult > siblings (or close degrees of consanguinity) had justifiable genetic > grounds. In a changed situation, where reliable contraception is > possible, many of these taboos seem to lose force. Still, power issues > within families should not be underestimated. > > Francis > > On 9 Apr., 18:21, gruff <[email protected]> wrote: > > > Actually I think I did ... or rather she did with me. My mother that > > is. And regarding my grandmother, I used to love to get up into her > > huge lap and bury my face in the valley between her pendulous > > breasts. Even as a young child I'd get a woody. > > > On Apr 8, 8:27 pm, Vamadevananda <[email protected]> wrote: > > > > Gruff, allow me to stretch the libertarian thought of yours ! > > > > Why not have sex with one's own mother or grandmother ? --~--~---------~--~----~------------~-------~--~----~ You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups ""Minds Eye"" group. To post to this group, send email to [email protected] To unsubscribe from this group, send email to [email protected] For more options, visit this group at http://groups.google.com/group/Minds-Eye?hl=en -~----------~----~----~----~------~----~------~--~---
