I found these posted tongue in cheek in another group. Selfish love? 7 habits of highly defective people:
Habit 1: React Blame all of your problems on your parents, your boss, your lousy neighborhood, your partner, the government, or something or somebody else. Be a victim. Take no responsibility for your life. Act like an animal. If you're hungry, eat. If someone yells at you, yell back. If you feel like doing something you know is wrong, just do it. Habit 2: Begin with No End in Mind Don't have a plan. Avoid goals at all costs. And never think about tomorrow. Why worry about the consequences of your actions? Live for the moment, but never 'in the moment'. Sleep around, get wasted, and party on, for tomorrow we die. Habit 3: Put First Things Last Whatever is most important in your life, don't do it until you have spent sufficient time watching reruns, talking endlessly on the phone, surfing the Net, and lounging around. Always put off your important work until tomorrow. Make sure that things that don't matter always come before things that do. Habit 4: Think Win-Lose See life as a vicious competition. Your colleages are out to get you, so you'd better get them first. Don't let anyone else succeed at anything because, remember, if they win, you lose. If it looks like you're going to lose, however, make sure you drag that sucker down with you. Habit 5: Seek First to Talk, Then Pretend to Listen You were born with a mouth, so use it. Make sure you talk a lot. Be first off the mark, and never lose an opportunity to express your side of the story first. Once you're sure everyone understands your views, then pretend to listen by nodding and saying "uh-huh." Or, if you really want their opinion, give it to them. Habit 6: Don't Cooperate Co-operation is synonymous with compromise. Let's face it, other people are weird because they're different from you. So why try to get along with them? Teamwork is for the sledge dogs. Since you always have the best ideas, you are better off doing everything by yourself. Be your own island. Habit 7: Wear Yourself Out Be so busy with life that you never take time to renew or improve yourself. Never study. Don't learn anything new. Avoid exercise like the plague. Stay up late on Facebook. And, for heaven's sake, stay away from good books, nature, or anything else that may inspire you. On May 10, 2:44 pm, Molly Brogan <[email protected]> wrote: > I was wondering out loud about Neil's idea of selfish love. Wondering > out loud is part of what we do here. Why the abrasive tone, Gabby? > > On May 10, 2:05 pm, gabbydott <[email protected]> wrote: > > > And I think it is wonderful that people > > > > can find their comfort zone in life and be satisfied with that. But I > > > wonder if it isn't part of what Neil refers to as selfish forms of > > > love, aside from the more exploitative kinds. > > > Right, let’s talk about beginnings. Why would Molly, our mastress of > > embrace-the-paradox, end her concluding sentence with this schismatic > > “but”? To establish the paradox she makes out to make it embraceable? > > Well, why would Molly want to create some extra work when she sees > > that we don’t even handle our everyday work the way it is meant to? > > No, that’s not Molly style. Molly, let me ask you directly why you > > opened your last sentence the way you did. Would you care to explain, > > and I don’t mean justify. > > > On 10 Mai, 16:55, Molly Brogan <[email protected]> wrote: > > > > Which gives us a nice blending of threads on love here. Is Eros > > > selfish, relating only to the pleasure that I am receiving, and the > > > overall feeling of being loved that it may bring? Or can it include a > > > real connection with the other, two moving as one, without falling > > > into the domain of agape? > > > > I spent life as a single for fifteen years between marriages because I > > > preferred expressing my love of life and others as a single than > > > falling into a partnership where each expressed the other as the > > > object of their love. For me, if love is limited to this, it becomes > > > two people living side by side, expressing love as what the other can > > > do for me, and what I can do for them, but not really feeling the true > > > connection of two as one that I know is possible. As it turns out, I > > > am glad that I held out for a love that is more in tune with what I > > > know to be true, because it was totally worth the wait. Not that it > > > isn't challenging, because all relationships are. And in between > > > there were many interesting offers to combine my life with another - > > > although I felt that I was being seen as object, as someone who could > > > fill a predetermined role for the other - madonna/whore; housekeeper; > > > business manager; arm candy... Whatever the case, I wasn't sure that I > > > was appreciated for who I am, my viewpoint, my work, my being - but > > > rather, expected to slip into a dutiful role that fit the others needs > > > and lifestyle. > > > > I think that there are many relationships around me that are a > > > comfortable arrangement of finances, social activities and home life > > > without much Eros or Agape. And I think it is wonderful that people > > > can find their comfort zone in life and be satisfied with that. But I > > > wonder if it isn't part of what Neil refers to as selfish forms of > > > love, aside from the more exploitative kinds. > > > > On May 10, 9:30 am, archytas <[email protected]> wrote: > > > > > In some of the crasser gutters I have found some relationship between > > > > begging and gratuitous offers of sex - Eros and other ideal Greek > > > > forms perhaps easing the innocence I use as a shield (think of Batfink > > > > Gabby - I'm pretty hopeless). Monogamy sounds a bit like something > > > > one might find trying to swim in treacle. This said, I would have > > > > made a pretty poor bonobo or chimp and have considerable respect for > > > > pair-bonding and explorations of equality that may move us away from > > > > selfish forms. > > > > > On 7 May, 12:54, gabbydott <[email protected]> wrote: > > > > > > I thought you had travelled the world, Chris. And what did you do > > > > > there? Went to the local movie theatres? Americans and how they live > > > > > their belief in ideals. *sigh* > > > > > > OK, let me translate "to please others" for you. In international > > > > > terms it means "begging" and is strictly unerotic. > > > > > > On 7 Mai, 06:45, Chris Jenkins <[email protected]> wrote: > > > > > > > In classical psychology, it's the Madonna-Whore complex. In modern > > > > > > culture, Ludacris calls out for "a Lady in the streets but a freak > > > > > > in > > > > > > the bed!" The clash of puritanical public values with animalistic > > > > > > private sexual desires creates a conflict that men (and less often > > > > > > women) who are not honest with themselves and/or their partners > > > > > > often > > > > > > express extra-relationally. In the ideal Eros relationship (ever > > > > > > IMHO), honest communication and a desire to please the other allows > > > > > > for mutual open exploration of the poles of desire, negating the > > > > > > desire to engage in such dalliances. Despite a variety of cultural > > > > > > relational phenotypes to choose from, I believe monogamy to be the > > > > > > Eros ideal. > > > > > > > On Wed, May 6, 2009 at 11:06 PM, archytas <[email protected]> > > > > > > wrote: > > > > > > > > Somewhat over-long as I remember Chris. An old French mate of > > > > > > > mine > > > > > > > kept two mistresses - one who treated him like a mother. He was > > > > > > > somewhat surprised that I didn't approve, even suspecting I was in > > > > > > > love with his wife because of this. Sadly, I was only in love > > > > > > > with > > > > > > > her cooking and brilliant sense of humour. He was a very gentle > > > > > > > soul, > > > > > > > except when it came to arresting blaggers known to use violence > > > > > > > and > > > > > > > intimidation on women. --~--~---------~--~----~------------~-------~--~----~ You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups ""Minds Eye"" group. 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