spy vs. spy

http://laughingsquid.com/spy-vs-spy-on-cover-of-make-magazine-16/

On May 10, 3:39 pm, iam deheretic <[email protected]> wrote:
> Molly we have to have a serious discussion about you spying on my life.
> Allan ... lol very cute
>
>
>
> On Sun, May 10, 2009 at 9:13 PM, Molly Brogan <[email protected]> wrote:
>
> > I found these posted tongue in cheek in another group.  Selfish love?
>
> > 7 habits of highly defective people:
>
> > Habit 1: React
> > Blame all of your problems on your parents, your boss, your lousy
> > neighborhood, your partner, the government, or something or somebody
> > else. Be a victim. Take no responsibility for your life. Act like an
> > animal. If you're hungry, eat. If someone yells at you, yell back. If
> > you feel like doing something you know is wrong, just do it.
>
> > Habit 2: Begin with No End in Mind
> > Don't have a plan. Avoid goals at all costs. And never think about
> > tomorrow. Why worry about the consequences of your actions? Live for
> > the moment, but never 'in the moment'. Sleep around, get wasted, and
> > party on, for tomorrow we die.
>
> > Habit 3: Put First Things Last
> > Whatever is most important in your life, don't do it until you have
> > spent sufficient time watching reruns, talking endlessly on the phone,
> > surfing the Net, and lounging around. Always put off your important
> > work until tomorrow. Make sure that things that don't matter always
> > come before things that do.
>
> > Habit 4: Think Win-Lose
> > See life as a vicious competition. Your colleages are out to get you,
> > so you'd better get them first. Don't let anyone else succeed at
> > anything because, remember, if they win, you lose. If it looks like
> > you're going to lose, however, make sure you drag that sucker down
> > with you.
>
> > Habit 5: Seek First to Talk, Then Pretend to Listen
> > You were born with a mouth, so use it. Make sure you talk a lot. Be
> > first off the mark, and never lose an opportunity to express your side
> > of the story first. Once you're sure everyone understands your views,
> > then pretend to listen by nodding and saying "uh-huh." Or, if you
> > really want their opinion, give it to them.
>
> > Habit 6: Don't Cooperate
> > Co-operation is synonymous with compromise. Let's face it, other
> > people are weird because they're different from you. So why try to get
> > along with them? Teamwork is for the sledge dogs. Since you always
> > have the best ideas, you are better off doing everything by yourself.
> > Be your own island.
>
> > Habit 7: Wear Yourself Out
> > Be so busy with life that you never take time to renew or improve
> > yourself. Never study. Don't learn anything new. Avoid exercise like
> > the plague. Stay up late on Facebook. And, for heaven's sake, stay
> > away from good books, nature, or anything else that may inspire you.
>
> > On May 10, 2:44 pm, Molly Brogan <[email protected]> wrote:
> > > I was wondering out loud about Neil's idea of selfish love.  Wondering
> > > out loud is part of what we do here.  Why the abrasive tone, Gabby?
>
> > > On May 10, 2:05 pm, gabbydott <[email protected]> wrote:
>
> > > > And I think it is wonderful that people
>
> > > > > can find their comfort zone in life and be satisfied with that.  But
> > I
> > > > > wonder if it isn't part of what Neil refers to as selfish forms of
> > > > > love, aside from the more exploitative kinds.
>
> > > > Right, let’s talk about beginnings. Why would Molly, our mastress of
> > > > embrace-the-paradox, end her concluding sentence with this schismatic
> > > > “but”? To establish the paradox she makes out to make it embraceable?
> > > > Well, why would Molly want to create some extra work when she sees
> > > > that we don’t even handle our everyday work the way it is meant to?
> > > > No, that’s not Molly style. Molly, let me ask you directly why you
> > > > opened your last sentence the way you did. Would you care to explain,
> > > > and I don’t mean justify.
>
> > > > On 10 Mai, 16:55, Molly Brogan <[email protected]> wrote:
>
> > > > > Which gives us a nice blending of threads on love here. Is Eros
> > > > > selfish, relating only to the pleasure that I am receiving, and the
> > > > > overall feeling of being loved that it may bring?  Or can it include
> > a
> > > > > real connection with the other, two moving as one, without falling
> > > > > into the domain of agape?
>
> > > > > I spent life as a single for fifteen years between marriages because
> > I
> > > > > preferred expressing my love of life and others as a single than
> > > > > falling into a partnership where each expressed the other as the
> > > > > object of their love.  For me, if love is limited to this, it becomes
> > > > > two people living side by side, expressing love as what the other can
> > > > > do for me, and what I can do for them, but not really feeling the
> > true
> > > > > connection of two as one that I know is possible.  As it turns out, I
> > > > > am glad that I held out for a love that is more in tune with what I
> > > > > know to be true, because it was totally worth the wait.  Not that it
> > > > > isn't challenging, because all relationships are.  And in between
> > > > > there were many interesting offers to combine my life with another -
> > > > > although I felt that I was being seen as object, as someone who could
> > > > > fill a predetermined role for the other - madonna/whore; housekeeper;
> > > > > business manager; arm candy... Whatever the case, I wasn't sure that
> > I
> > > > > was appreciated for who I am, my viewpoint, my work, my being - but
> > > > > rather, expected to slip into a dutiful role that fit the others
> > needs
> > > > > and lifestyle.
>
> > > > > I think that there are many relationships around me that are a
> > > > > comfortable arrangement of finances, social activities and home life
> > > > > without much Eros or Agape.  And I think it is wonderful that people
> > > > > can find their comfort zone in life and be satisfied with that.  But
> > I
> > > > > wonder if it isn't part of what Neil refers to as selfish forms of
> > > > > love, aside from the more exploitative kinds.
>
> > > > > On May 10, 9:30 am, archytas <[email protected]> wrote:
>
> > > > > > In some of the crasser gutters I have found some relationship
> > between
> > > > > > begging and gratuitous offers of sex - Eros and other ideal Greek
> > > > > > forms perhaps easing the innocence I use as a shield (think of
> > Batfink
> > > > > > Gabby - I'm pretty hopeless).  Monogamy sounds a bit like something
> > > > > > one might find trying to swim in treacle.  This said, I would have
> > > > > > made a pretty poor bonobo or chimp and have considerable respect
> > for
> > > > > > pair-bonding and explorations of equality that may move us away
> > from
> > > > > > selfish forms.
>
> > > > > > On 7 May, 12:54, gabbydott <[email protected]> wrote:
>
> > > > > > > I thought you had travelled the world, Chris. And what did you do
> > > > > > > there? Went to the local movie theatres? Americans and how they
> > live
> > > > > > > their belief in ideals. *sigh*
>
> > > > > > > OK, let me translate "to please others" for you.  In
> > international
> > > > > > > terms it means "begging" and is strictly unerotic.
>
> > > > > > > On 7 Mai, 06:45, Chris Jenkins <[email protected]>
> > wrote:
>
> > > > > > > > In classical psychology, it's the Madonna-Whore complex. In
> > modern
> > > > > > > > culture, Ludacris calls out for "a Lady in the streets but a
> > freak in
> > > > > > > > the bed!" The clash of puritanical public values with
> > animalistic
> > > > > > > > private sexual desires creates a conflict that men (and less
> > often
> > > > > > > > women) who are not honest with themselves and/or their partners
> > often
> > > > > > > > express extra-relationally. In the ideal Eros relationship
> > (ever
> > > > > > > > IMHO), honest communication and a desire to please the other
> > allows
> > > > > > > > for mutual open exploration of the poles of desire, negating
> > the
> > > > > > > > desire to engage in such dalliances. Despite a variety of
> > cultural
> > > > > > > > relational phenotypes to choose from, I believe monogamy to be
> > the
> > > > > > > > Eros ideal.
>
> > > > > > > > On Wed, May 6, 2009 at 11:06 PM, archytas <
> > [email protected]> wrote:
>
> > > > > > > > > Somewhat over-long as I remember Chris.  An old French mate
> > of mine
> > > > > > > > > kept two mistresses - one who treated him like a mother.  He
> > was
> > > > > > > > > somewhat surprised that I didn't approve, even suspecting I
> > was in
> > > > > > > > > love with his wife because of this.  Sadly, I was only in
> > love with
> > > > > > > > > her cooking and brilliant sense of humour.  He was a very
> > gentle soul,
> > > > > > > > > except when it came to arresting blaggers known to use
> > violence and
> > > > > > > > > intimidation on women.
>
> --
> (
>  )
> I_D Allan
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