while I don't like the label idiot, I'll post this as is anyway and
ask about compassion:

Subject: Most oustanding idiots of 2008
Number One Idiot of 2008

I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the
poison control centre.  Today, this woman called in very upset because
she caught her little daughter eating ants.  I quickly reassured her
that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her
daughter into the hospital.  She calmed down and at the end of the
conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant
poison to eat in order to kill the ants.  I told her that she better
bring her daughter in to the emergency room right away.
Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.

Number Two Idiot of 2008

Early this year, some Boeing employees decided to steal a life raft
from one of the 747s.  They were successful in getting it out of the
plane and home.  Shortly after they took it for a float on the river,
they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming toward them.  It turned
out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locater beacon
that activated when the raft was inflated.  They are no longer
employed at Boeing.
Here's your sign, guys.  Don't get it wet; the paint might run.

Number Three Idiot of 2008

A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the
Branch and wrote this, 'Put all your muny in this bag.'  While
standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to
worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the
police before he reached the teller's window.  So he left the Bank of
America and crossed the street to the Wells Fargo Bank.
After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells
Fargo teller.  She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors
that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbour, told him that she
could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of
America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells
Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America.
Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, 'OK' and left.  He was
arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank
of America.
Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it
anyway.

Number Four Idiot of 2008

A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded
all of the cash from the cash drawer.  After the cashier put the cash
in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the
counter on the shelf.  He told the cashier to put it in the bag as
well, but the cashier refused and said, 'Because I don't believe you
are over 21.'  The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to
give it to him because she didn't believe him.
At this point, the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet
and gave it to the clerk.  The clerk looked it over and agreed that
the man was in fact over 21 and she put the Scotch in the bag.  The
robber then ran from the store with his loot.  The cashier promptly
called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he
got off the license.  They arrested the robber two hours later.
This guy definitely needs a sign.

Idiot Number Five of 2008

A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving
revolvers.  The first one shouted, 'Nobody move!'  When his partner
moved, the startled first bandit shot him.
This guy doesn't even deserve a sign.


Idiot Number Six of 2008

Arkansas :  Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly.  He decided
that he'd just throw a Breeze block through a liquor store window,
grab some booze, and run.  So he lifted the block and heaved it over
his head at the window.  The block bounced back knocking him
unconscious. It seems the liquor store window was made of Plexi-
Glass.  The whole event was caught on videotape.

Idiot Number Seven of 2008

I live in a semi-rural area ( Weyauwega , Wisconsin ).  We recently
had a new neighbour call the local township administrative office to
request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road.  The
reason:  'Too many Deer are being hit by cars out here! - I don't
think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'

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