I always find these dark nights at once difficult and sublime. They cause me to let go of what I know, and I had to learn not to be afraid of this. They introduced me to true faith, not just believing in something, but having true faith that in the letting go, all will be returned in new form, with more life and fresh possibility. Faith that with my committment, life goes on and supports me in all ways necessary to express love and sustain clear awareness. When I feel suffering, I look toward myself for the source of resistance. There is infinite life in the entirety of our experience. When I am feeling different than, for or against, I take a step back into myself and a more expansive view and so feel and see the unity that is always there. In my darkest hours, it is easier to feel my finite nature than my infinite nature. Restoring myself as both is always key for me. How this is done is revealed in the moment, sometimes after much soul searching and ultimate expression. Whether the light goes on with medical intervention (and I have greatly benefited on occasion) or reconnection with others and life, each can only know ourselves what will turn the tide. Some of us act out our dark nights on others, storming and lashing out, feeling the need to impose authority and demean the other. Some of us crawl inside and work it out in ways that seem to be quiet, but can be very loud internally. We ourselves can only know, in the moment, what to do with what we are given through experience.
On Jan 17, 8:20 am, frantheman <[email protected]> wrote: > On 17 Jan., 14:52, Twirlip <[email protected]> wrote: > Where I am is /very/ difficult. (I > > > don't mean that I have a uniquely hard life; in many ways, I've had it > > easy, in a hard world. I mean more than there is almost nothing in the > > world around me to lead me to think that anyone else can understand > > where I am. There are no maps, just a few old footprints to show that > > it is not the complete wilderness it appears to be.) > > Just one quick anecdote; I remember making this argument to a friend > of mine at the stage where I was starting to come out of the deepest > darkness. His answer struck me like a flash of light at that time and > I have frequently thought of it since; "There is no hierarchy in > suffering." > > Take care of yourself. > > Francis
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