Three things I've found in my life: 1. When there is a trend of negative circumstances in my life, I try to approach them the same as I would any trend analysis; by searching for the commonalities. In most cases, I find that the commonality is me. This has been true of the relationship issues I repeated for some time, as well as various other interpersonal problems.
2. I've found that many of my friends or acquaintances who often encounter social issues have some sort of recognizable social disorder. It seems to have been a question in your life which has not been fully answered. 3. Those in "perceived position of authority" are often non-committal towards situations where the response seems overblown to the stimulus; the vast majority of us are used to encountering boors, understand that it really isn't anything personal, and demonstrate maturity by ignoring it. I don't feel as though I've been subject to a "verbal onslaught" when an obnoxious drunk calls me a shit head. Perception makes a lot of difference in how people react to a situation. That being said, I've seen enough quality participation on other topics to know that you have more to say than "Woe is me", so carry on, my good man. On Tue, Jan 19, 2010 at 2:54 PM, Twirlip <[email protected]> wrote: > On Jan 19, 5:34 pm, Chris Jenkins <[email protected]> wrote: > > > Do you find (given your statement regarding bringing shadow with you) > that > > you encounter what you perceive to be personal attacks ("verbal > onslaughts") > > no matter where you go online? > > Almost always, and not only online, but in Real Life too, starting > right from infancy. It's actually easier to enumerate the situations > where I /don't/ get attacked1 Oddly, I was scarcely bullied at school > (and I am weedy and nerdy, therefore it wasn't that I was myself a > bully!), whereas it seems that a large proportion of people, perhaps a > majority, do get bullied, often severely. And I don't suffer badly > from attacks over at the BBC Radio 4 and Radio 7 forums, but perhaps > that is only because they are very strictly (indeed, overly strictly, > and very irrationally) moderated. And I tend to be pretty much OK in > one-to-one situations. And most of whatever tribulations I suffered in > group situations between the years 1971 and 1979 are easily > attributable to some sort of unspecified and undiagnosed personality > disorder (on my part, I mean); but after that, it gets really > complicated and weird, and no such purely psychological explanation - > however vague and elastic, and no matter how much unconscious > individual or group psychology is taken into account - fits the > 'facts'. (Of course, there is absolutely no reason why you or any > other stranger on the Net should be expected to take my word for > this. However, I am not lying, and I am also clear that I am not > deceiving myself.) > > Being, as I've said, for all intents an atheist between the ages of > about 8 and 54, and having no system of belief in anything either > supernatural or paranormal, and being very much inclined to believe in > psychoanalysis and psychotherapy in general, I naturally inclined, for > decades, to seek for the personal fault in myself that was leading me > into so much persecution (for want of a better word), but "with the > best will in the world" (as I put it in the thread about the Niebuhr > prayer), I cannot find it. I find plenty of faults, of course, but > none that either explains or justifies the repeated pattern of verbal > assaults. Also, although I have just used the word "pattern", there > is no fixed pattern whatsoever to what happens, except for one broad > aspect, which is that those in positions of power or authority (in the > present case, that would be you and the other moderators) never > intervene in a way which resolves the conflict, and in most cases any > such intervention only exacerbates it. (I fear you will think that > with this comment, in particular, I am deliberately stirring the poop, > but I am only trying to be as honest about others as I already try to > be about myself, which I realise is uncomfortable, to say the least.) > > This is going on rather long, and it's embarrassing and nerve- > wracking, but there are at least two more things I must say. One is > that several experienced consultant psychiatrists, with between them > many decades of clinical experience, who evidently all knew the > diagnostic manuals inside-out and back-to-front, and who had plenty of > real world face-to-face clinical experience with actual patients, and > who were not (at least, most of them weren't) dogmatic about the > medical model of 'mental illness', and who had empathy and respect for > me, have frankly confessed bafflement at my case, and have either said > that there is no clear diagnosis, or have tentatively offered several > wildly different, speculative, and conflicting diagnoses. All agreed > that I was highly intelligent, polite, had good rapport, and was not > psychotic. At least one mentioned aspects of Asperger's syndrome or > high functioning autism, but any such neurological diagnosis seems far > from clear, either to them or to me, although I do score 37/50 on what > I believe is a well-respected but informal screening questionnaire for > autism, on which the mean or median for AS/HFA is 35/50. I have in > fact just posted an enquiry to a Usenet newsgroup for autistic people, > in an effort to find out if some of my difficulties here at Minds Eye > might be explicable in such terms. Would I run into similar conflicts > if I were dealing with people who were autistic, or is this something > between me and 'nornal' people only? > > I could (of course!) go on at much greater length, because in 57 years > things can get VERY complicated and VERY weird, but I think (and hope) > that this will do as a reply to your question. I had perhaps better > add that what has been happening here recently is relatively mild (and > has been offset by the interesting and friendly responses that I have > also received here), but I have been unusually persistent, so it has > gone on for longer than it might usually have done, and the > cumulative effect has been extremely distressing, with the result > that I could scarcely sleep last night. But I have been through FAR > worse (both online and in Real Life), and I have not yet despaired of > this place, although I am still inclining towards the view that it > might all be a bit too much for me here. > > -- > You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups > ""Minds Eye"" group. > To post to this group, send email to [email protected]. > To unsubscribe from this group, send email to > [email protected]<minds-eye%[email protected]> > . > For more options, visit this group at > http://groups.google.com/group/minds-eye?hl=en. > > > >--
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