Excellent research Tom, but it might be a bit optimistic to compare lizards to gorillas. Maybe you should try other apes first. Then again, like man most of them are predictable, I would guess that chimpanzees will try to seriously hurt another chimp with the packaging, while the bonobos probably will have sex with it.
Wim Op 13 jun. 2012, om 11:35 heeft Johnson Tom het volgende geschreven: > As part of my ongoing examination of promotional rhetoric in our > hobby, and effort to not be such a MOPO wallflower, I turn to the > much-discussed area of shipping, packaging, and “handling.” The latter > is of course the most ambiguous term of the three--it’s pretty clear > what shipping and packaging mean, but handling is the one they > sometimes get you with. “handling” is the one with all the wiggle > room, and if you’ve ever been handled, you know that wiggle room is a > big part of the experience. “No, your honor, that was just a handling > charge,” is something they hear quite often at the bench in our > district courts, usually in vice cases. It’s something of a loophole, > and if you can get handled in a situation where there is a loophole > and enough wiggle room, you just might get off. I am speaking here in > legal terms, of course. > > But I want to focus here about packaging--specifically “Gorilla-Proof” > packaging. I have seen this type of packaging touted by a number of > dealers. (I don’t remember whether Bruce is one of them, but let me be > explicit that this post is NOT ABOUT HIM. It is about anyone and > everyone EXCEPT HIM). A quick search on Ebay tonight brings up 2240 > listings using the phrase “gorilla proof.” Let us estimate that 20% of > them are listings for actual anti-gorilla storage boxes, locks that > gorillas cannot pick, paint that is much more than just waterproof, > and plans that are far more than just foolproof. One or two might be > for mathematical proofs involving gorillas, like the reflexive > property of gorillas, distributive property of gorillas, etc. But the > rest are probably packaging claims. Exactly half--1120--of the > listings are in the entertainment memorabilia category. That number > will of course fluctuate as auctions end and start, so don’t hold me > to it, but you must agree that makes it pertinent to this forum. If > you are starting to feel otherwise, now would be a very good time to > utilize the delete button. > > Whose packaging is truly gorilla proof? If there is a key to this > discussion, and that is doubtful, this is it. One of the Ebay sellers > making such claims in all their listings is from here in Portland, so > I was able to go over and have a look for myself. Sure enough, the > proprietor or “Old Weird Heralds” actually has a gorilla on staff who > is employed to try to open, bend, or otherwise damage packages prior > to their posting. Any that do not pass the test are sent back to the > front office for repackaging, which is done by other non-gorilla > primates. Personally I think they should get a Gorilla into the front > office as a consultant--be a little more proactive--but they have a > system, and it seems to work. > > Continuing my research, I took several of my own movie poster > shipments straight from the postman’s hands down to the Washington > Park zoo, where I scientifically lobbed them over the fence into the > Gorilla compound. Here are the results: > > Package #1 (from Rich Halegua’s movieposterbid.com) One gorilla was > unable to open, bend or damage the package. However, after consulting > with another gorilla, he was able to devise an ad-hoc tool which he > used to pick loose enough packing tape to get a start at opening the > package. After some effort he extracted the poster, an insert for > “Planet of the Apes”, which he studied carefully for some time before > retreating with several of his peers into the interior of the habitat > for what looked like some sort of planning session. I should add that > this insert was paper-backed,with minor restoration at the folds). > > Package #2 (from Heritage) This was a rolled poster in a tube--King > Kong (R 1957) one-sheet. The gorilla was able to chew through the > strapping tape securing the plastic lid to the tube, and extract the > poster. It took him 19.5% longer to do so, however, than with a > similar package purchased from a prominent midwestern dealer whom this > post is not about. > > Package #3 (also from Heritage--flat packed). This was actually not a > purchase but a returned consignment Heritage sent back to us after we > mutually agreed it would be preferable that they not auction the > items. The gorilla got it open after fifteen minutes, but flew into a > rage when only one poster was inside. We had sent them three posters > (one was the extremely valuable recalled x-rated release of “Bang the > Drum Slowly”) and have our original inventory sheet to prove it, which > our pet gibbon Mr. Roberts had jotted down on a note card at some > point in the past. The Gorilla bit off two fingers of a keeper, > escaped the zoo, climbed the Hawthorne Bridge, (a local historic > landmark featured in the unwatchable movie "The Hunted") destroyed a > news helicopter that got too close, and plunged into the Willamette > River, which by the way is not pronounced “Willa-met,” but rather > rhymes with “goddammit.” Our lawyers will be contacting Heritage > posthaste. > > As a result I am for too upset to continue with the analysis of my > research, so I must call it inconclusive at this point. However, I am > considering a prolonged trip to Indonesia, so if any of the sellers > here can promise Komodo Dragon proof shipping, please let me know and > I will respond with my wants list. > > Visit the MoPo Mailing List Web Site at www.filmfan.com > ___________________________________________________________________ > How to UNSUBSCRIBE from the MoPo Mailing List > > Send a message addressed to: [email protected] > In the BODY of your message type: SIGNOFF MOPO-L > > The author of this message is solely responsible for its content. Visit the MoPo Mailing List Web Site at www.filmfan.com ___________________________________________________________________ How to UNSUBSCRIBE from the MoPo Mailing List Send a message addressed to: [email protected] In the BODY of your message type: SIGNOFF MOPO-L The author of this message is solely responsible for its content.
