I think he should have employed an Aye-Aye to open the tube. The
Aye-Aye has that extra long digit for extracting grubs from under
tree bark, and so would not even need a razor to open the package.
Also, it might be kind of funny to see the Aye-Aye eat the styrofoam
peanuts inside, thinking they are desiccated grubs, with no flavor of course
At 02:48 AM 6/13/2012, Wim Jansen wrote:
Excellent research Tom, but it might be a bit optimistic to compare
lizards to gorillas. Maybe you should try other apes first. Then
again, like man most of them are predictable, I would guess that
chimpanzees will try to seriously hurt another chimp with the
packaging, while the bonobos probably will have sex with it.
Wim
Op 13 jun. 2012, om 11:35 heeft Johnson Tom het volgende geschreven:
> As part of my ongoing examination of promotional rhetoric in our
> hobby, and effort to not be such a MOPO wallflower, I turn to the
> much-discussed area of shipping, packaging, and "handling." The latter
> is of course the most ambiguous term of the three--it's pretty clear
> what shipping and packaging mean, but handling is the one they
> sometimes get you with. "handling" is the one with all the wiggle
> room, and if you've ever been handled, you know that wiggle room is a
> big part of the experience. "No, your honor, that was just a handling
> charge," is something they hear quite often at the bench in our
> district courts, usually in vice cases. It's something of a loophole,
> and if you can get handled in a situation where there is a loophole
> and enough wiggle room, you just might get off. I am speaking here in
> legal terms, of course.
>
> But I want to focus here about packaging--specifically "Gorilla-Proof"
> packaging. I have seen this type of packaging touted by a number of
> dealers. (I don't remember whether Bruce is one of them, but let me be
> explicit that this post is NOT ABOUT HIM. It is about anyone and
> everyone EXCEPT HIM). A quick search on Ebay tonight brings up 2240
> listings using the phrase "gorilla proof." Let us estimate that 20% of
> them are listings for actual anti-gorilla storage boxes, locks that
> gorillas cannot pick, paint that is much more than just waterproof,
> and plans that are far more than just foolproof. One or two might be
> for mathematical proofs involving gorillas, like the reflexive
> property of gorillas, distributive property of gorillas, etc. But the
> rest are probably packaging claims. Exactly half--1120--of the
> listings are in the entertainment memorabilia category. That number
> will of course fluctuate as auctions end and start, so don't hold me
> to it, but you must agree that makes it pertinent to this forum. If
> you are starting to feel otherwise, now would be a very good time to
> utilize the delete button.
>
> Whose packaging is truly gorilla proof? If there is a key to this
> discussion, and that is doubtful, this is it. One of the Ebay sellers
> making such claims in all their listings is from here in Portland, so
> I was able to go over and have a look for myself. Sure enough, the
> proprietor or "Old Weird Heralds" actually has a gorilla on staff who
> is employed to try to open, bend, or otherwise damage packages prior
> to their posting. Any that do not pass the test are sent back to the
> front office for repackaging, which is done by other non-gorilla
> primates. Personally I think they should get a Gorilla into the front
> office as a consultant--be a little more proactive--but they have a
> system, and it seems to work.
>
> Continuing my research, I took several of my own movie poster
> shipments straight from the postman's hands down to the Washington
> Park zoo, where I scientifically lobbed them over the fence into the
> Gorilla compound. Here are the results:
>
> Package #1 (from Rich Halegua's movieposterbid.com) One gorilla was
> unable to open, bend or damage the package. However, after consulting
> with another gorilla, he was able to devise an ad-hoc tool which he
> used to pick loose enough packing tape to get a start at opening the
> package. After some effort he extracted the poster, an insert for
> "Planet of the Apes", which he studied carefully for some time before
> retreating with several of his peers into the interior of the habitat
> for what looked like some sort of planning session. I should add that
> this insert was paper-backed,with minor restoration at the folds).
>
> Package #2 (from Heritage) This was a rolled poster in a tube--King
> Kong (R 1957) one-sheet. The gorilla was able to chew through the
> strapping tape securing the plastic lid to the tube, and extract the
> poster. It took him 19.5% longer to do so, however, than with a
> similar package purchased from a prominent midwestern dealer whom this
> post is not about.
>
> Package #3 (also from Heritage--flat packed). This was actually not a
> purchase but a returned consignment Heritage sent back to us after we
> mutually agreed it would be preferable that they not auction the
> items. The gorilla got it open after fifteen minutes, but flew into a
> rage when only one poster was inside. We had sent them three posters
> (one was the extremely valuable recalled x-rated release of "Bang the
> Drum Slowly") and have our original inventory sheet to prove it, which
> our pet gibbon Mr. Roberts had jotted down on a note card at some
> point in the past. The Gorilla bit off two fingers of a keeper,
> escaped the zoo, climbed the Hawthorne Bridge, (a local historic
> landmark featured in the unwatchable movie "The Hunted") destroyed a
> news helicopter that got too close, and plunged into the Willamette
> River, which by the way is not pronounced "Willa-met," but rather
> rhymes with "goddammit." Our lawyers will be contacting Heritage
> posthaste.
>
> As a result I am for too upset to continue with the analysis of my
> research, so I must call it inconclusive at this point. However, I am
> considering a prolonged trip to Indonesia, so if any of the sellers
> here can promise Komodo Dragon proof shipping, please let me know and
> I will respond with my wants list.
>
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