[Ron]
I understand what you are trying to say Arlo, Jimmy, whoever you are...

[Arlo]
I "am" who you think I am. By the way, the only person who calls me 
"Jimmy" is my fiance. Let me give you some background on that. My 
father's name was "Arlo", and so since I was a baby to differentiate 
us I was referred to as "Jim". All my life, all through high school, 
I knew my legal name was "Arlo" but I never used it. Never. It was 
like if you found out today that all this time your legal name was 
actually "Harry". It was that alien to me. When I entered college, it 
was just easier to let my professors call me "Arlo", and so people I 
met in classes there knew me as "Arlo". I mostly had them call me Jim 
until one particular "friend" told me she thought "Arlo" was a much 
more unique and exciting name (really!). So I gave it a test run. And 
it took. But what has happened is that everyone who knew me prior to 
1990 calls me "Jim". Everyone who knows me since calls me "Arlo". My 
biker friends I met while with a friend from the "Jim" days, and so 
that was the name that stuck there. Try as I might, I can no more get 
my colleagues at work to think of me as "Jim" as I can get my biker 
friends to think of me as "Arlo". Legally my birth certificate says 
"Arlo", but is that any more "my real name" than "Jim"?

Ron:
I understand, I made a whole new set of friends after I came back from
seattle, before I went, I worked for an architect, had short hair and
dressed professionally, while out in seattle I took on a dock job
for a while, grew my hair long and a beard, after that, that's how 
everyone knew me. Often I was treated like a lo-life.

[Ron]
but it's those few who really are who they say they are

[Arlo]

So my question is, would an overweight woman who uses an "attractive" 
avatar be being dishonest? What is "the real her"? The overweight 
body? Or the attractive "self"?

Ron:
I think it depends on the context, neither are "Her" but if she uses an
icon to purposely mislead people then I think that is dis-honest,
anytime
you begin a relationship based on un-truths you are heading down a path
of disappointment and hurt for both parties.


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