Mary,


>
> Those who know me keep saying I should write a book, because I have a book
> worth of ideas to write about.
>
>
I agree you should write.  I like reading your words, and I'm picky.




> I spent the first 2 years attempting to achieve forgiveness - to the
> husband
> and to his Mother.  I have not been entirely successful, but almost.
>  What's
> interesting to me about this is that I am not having a problem forgiving
> him
> for injuring me, but for causing me to lose my farm.  My property.  Does
> anyone else find this interesting?  Territorial Social Level instincts
> coming to the fore?
>


I find it interesting.  The Metaphysical underpinnings of Real Estate as
social phenomena.  Human's need for place, for territory, for
being-in-world.

And I find it entirely apt that your resentment over losing your place is
far deeper and long lasting than resentment over violence suffered.   I
suffered a disastrous first marriage, and when it fell apart, what I hated
more than losing my wife was losing my home.  It's a deeper sorrow somehow.
Closer to the bone.




>
>
> I have several essays in mind, all related to my experiences.  These are
> yet
> to be written, but center around some themes.
>
> Men are predators and women are prey animals.


You hit upon a very interesting topic there.  Royce once answered the
question in a letter, why in his experience there were so few female
philosophers.  He said the problem was not intellectual - women are just as
smart as men, but moral.  The female of the species is almost always
reluctant to strike out on their own, to challenge authority and reject the
social norm.

Probably even truer in the 19th century than now, but I see vestiges of that
attitude still.

I've thought of it in terms of horses.  Horses aren't really prey animals,
nor are they predators.  Like elephants and whales, they're herd animals.  A
lone horse is prey, but a horse herd is not.  A friend of my mom's was
feeding her horses one evening, and all of a sudden there was a mountain
lion in the paddock, stalking her.  And then her mule went into action and
that mountain lion ended up as a mush of bloody, muddy fur.  Stallions in
the wild probably kill more horses (other males) than any predator.

Socially women are stronger than men, but individually they are weaker.
that's the way it's evolved and I guess that's what has gotten our species
to where it is today.

Thanks Mary, keep those thoughts and essays coming.  I'm off to my
daughter's 18th B-day party this weekend, to face a terrifying herd of
teenage girls.

Shudders.

John
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