Dan, - thanks for re-posting...I remember your story from
a while ago and I think I commented at the time, very
touching. 

Mary - Thanks for posting your story too...it takes a lot of
courage to write memories of past experiences as traumatic
as that with such detail - and especially to post on a 
public forum. 

You may find it hard to believe, but I have lived experiences
very much like yours many years ago. 

Most recently, though, I was blessed to have a man in my life, who
adored me the way that Dan adored and loved Yoli. He loved
me so completely and was a perfect companion for me; a friend
described us a two big glasses of water, (unlike 'oil and vinegar'),
we were unique from each other, yet we completely complemented
each other. We developed a friendship, trust and respect for each other
through a close working relationship for 4 years, and then we were able
to spend 3 fantastic years together as lovers and companions. 

In June last year, he passed
away unexpectedly from a cardiac event. We were alone when it
happened and thankfully, it was a morning when we were so soft
and gentle with each other - we woke up that Saturday morning in love 
and not in a hurry, happy about good events that had transpired that week.
He sat on the side of the bed and I had my hand on his shoulder just
moments before while we were petting our cat, Angel. He fell forward
and I gave him CPR, the paramedics were there within 10 minutes. He was
56. There was nothing I could do. When I'm not selfishly grieving for 
losing my best friend and lover; I can joyfully celebrate that Gary lived
a full and happy life and he was a great man and I can be grateful that
he passed the way he did - so quickly, easily and without pain. And 
I can be so grateful that he came into my life and we were able to 
share the years we had together. Some people never get to experience
this kind of love. 

This isn't a one-upmanship though - of who has had the most tragic
experiences and I totally agree with Craig/Pirsig...we each 
have only our own experiences to live from. 

My critique of Mary's post was simply that judging that all men
are limited in their ability to express emotion was, I thought,
perhaps a bit static. Dynamic Quality in this situation is
learning to see past our own stories - the zen moment is 
in putting down all of our stories and experiencing each new moment
as a fresh awakening. 

I once read a quote by Miles Davis who said something like 
'learn all of the theory, then forget it and just play'...

btw - 
I just read this story this morning: 
http://incognito73.instablogs.com/entry/up-to-3-years-in-jail-for-woman-who-
lied-about-being-raped/

I can't help but think, boy does that guy have some reason to be angry
towards women! BUT, I wonder how tossing her back in jail is going to 
solve the problem of her ignorance or rehabilitate her. 

Margaret






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