On Apr 12, 2010, at 8:11 AM, Mary wrote: > Hello John and Marsha, > >> I can relate Marsha. I don't do affirmation very well either. >> >> On Sat, Apr 10, 2010 at 2:13 PM, MarshaV <[email protected]> wrote: >> >>> >>> Hello John, >>> >>> I can become miffed if told I'm wrong, but I feel absolutely >> mortified to >>> be told I'm right. >> >> >> I read a bit Garrison Keillor did once on midwestern deflection - those >> people can't take a compliment - they always divert it or deny it - "I >> love >> your dress".... "This old thing?". >> >> He says it has it's roots not in true modesty, but wanting to be seen >> as >> modest and also because such people are really craving affirmation so >> much, >> that a slight compliment is never enough. They say, "It was nothing >> really" >> But what they actually want is to be crowned Sun God. They want to >> say >> "Rise my people, lift your faces from the carpet. Look me in the >> face." >> > [Mary Replies] > I was always in the Marsha camp on this, feeling very uncomfortable with > compliments until one day it occurred to me that it's part of the social > dance. A compliment requires a gracious acceptance because if you fail to > do that you are in effect questioning the judgment of the complimentor > (sp?). To accept a compliment is to give one in return. > > Best to all you lovely people! :) > Mary
Marsha: It wasn't so much a compliment but telling me I was right that made me uncomfortable. If it was just telling me I was wearing a pretty dress, I would probably say 'Thank you.' Marsha ___ Moq_Discuss mailing list Listinfo, Unsubscribing etc. http://lists.moqtalk.org/listinfo.cgi/moq_discuss-moqtalk.org Archives: http://lists.moqtalk.org/pipermail/moq_discuss-moqtalk.org/ http://moq.org/md/archives.html
