My older sister lives in a nursing home. Well, they call it an assisted living center but it sure reminds me of a nursing home. She isn't actually my sister... her mother married my father some years ago so I suppose you could call her my step sister but as she is twelve years my senior she belonged to a different generation and we were never what anyone would call close.
She had a massive stroke about five years ago and as she had never married nor had any children and our parents were both long dead it seemed to fall to me to become her guardian. Not that I am any good at it, mind you. I go to the home where she lives to visit with her once a month or and bring her goodies and I attend the staff meetings that social services schedules every so often to discuss her progress. When I visit she talks about coming home some day but at seventy years of age it seems pretty clear that she isn't going to get any better than she is now and she will probably live out the rest of her days there. She can hardly walk so she spends most of her time in a wheelchair. The staff at the home seem very nice but of course they are paid to be nice. Some of the other residents sometimes ask me for help when I go there. They grab my arm and hold on as if they are drowning and clutching at a life preserver someone has thrown to them. When I look into their eyes there is a kind of terror shining back at me, as if they know they are being swallowed up by death one gulp at a time and soon they will disappear completely, leaving no trace that they ever lived. I always visit the home on Christmas day. The staff is minimal as I imagine most of them are spending the day with family. As I walk down the hallways to my sister's room I notice most all the residents are sitting alone either in their rooms or in front of the television set in the common room. Sometimes I see a priest visiting but most times there is no one there at all. I wonder if these people's family are dead or if they have just forgotten about them. It always takes me a couple weeks to shake off the dread of that place after one of my visits. I cannot help but think there are worst things in this world than death and that I am a living witness to it. Tomorrow is Christmas day here and I will put on a happy face and go there once again. No one will know how much I would rather not. Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night. On Mon, Dec 24, 2012 at 8:00 AM, Jan Anders Andersson <[email protected]> wrote: > To all of you > > > "We love what we have learned to love. We hate what we have learned to hate. > The task is to get beyond [what] we have learned and create a reality for > ourselves." Jeanette Winterson. > > Christmas is one lesson in the school of christianity. If the pupils don't > believe in the teacher, the pedagogical value will be none. The market people > belive in the buiyng forces that create their december yield, mostly because > it's measureable numbers. > > Years before christianity occupied Juletime, Juletime was a big and important > time for gathering, bartering and making up plans for the coming year. > > Depending on your personal beliefs, if you get the chance and time to stay > with your friends at Jul, it can be a great time for contemplation. Take your > time and don't eat the whole goose, or what you prefer, in one chunk. > > If you believe in what they say on TV, keep it on. If you believe in gaming, > stick to your screen, if you belive in singing, sing along together. If you > believe in Quality .... > > Jul is the time when our true beliefs can come through, along with some real > fine winter Ale, of course. > > Cheers and Merry Jul to all of you! > > Jan Anders > Moq_Discuss mailing list > Listinfo, Unsubscribing etc. > http://lists.moqtalk.org/listinfo.cgi/moq_discuss-moqtalk.org > Archives: > http://lists.moqtalk.org/pipermail/moq_discuss-moqtalk.org/ > http://moq.org/md/archives.html -- http://www.danglover.com Moq_Discuss mailing list Listinfo, Unsubscribing etc. http://lists.moqtalk.org/listinfo.cgi/moq_discuss-moqtalk.org Archives: http://lists.moqtalk.org/pipermail/moq_discuss-moqtalk.org/ http://moq.org/md/archives.html
