Hi Arlo,

Thanks for your words and the quote from Pirsig!  "Patterns" have to be 
unpacked.  The MOQ is consoling.

Joe


> Joe,
>
> My deepest condolences. My mother also has a serious medical
> condition with which I've been occupied.
>
> Pirsig's words on Chris' death in the afterward to ZMM is one of the
> more meaningful short considerations of "death" I have come across.
> Worth repeating. The "pattterns" Pirisig talks about, I believe, are
> the dialogic inter-social, and intellectual, patterns we build over
> our biological lives. They are larger than "us", and are not limited
> nor confined to the biological patterns from which they emerge. Your
> wife lives not only in the voices and echoes and dreams of those who
> knew her, but in the myriad of ways her participation with them
> effected their being, their patterns, their activity. In this sense,
> I believe, we are all at once both echoes and sound.
>
> "I tend to become taken with philosophic questions, going over them
> and over them and over them again in loops that go round and round
> and round until they either produce an answer or become so
> repetitively locked on they become psychiatrically dangerous, and now
> the question became obsessive: "Where did he go?"
>
> Where did Chris go? He had bought an airplane ticket that morning. He
> had a bank account, drawers full of clothes, and shelves full of
> books. He was a real, live person, occupying time and space on this
> planet, and now suddenly where was he gone to? Did he go up the stack
> at the crematorium? Was he in the little box of bones they handed
> back? Was he strumming a harp of gold on some overhead cloud? None of
> these answers made any sense.
>
> It had to be asked: What was it I was so attached to? Is it just
> something in the imagination? When you have done time in a mental
> hospital, that is never a trivial question. If he wasn't just
> imaginary, then where did he go? Do real things just disappear like
> that? If they do, then the conservation laws of physics are in
> trouble. But if we stay with the laws of physics, then the Chris that
> disappeared was unreal. Round and round and round. He used to run off
> like that just to make me mad. Sooner or later he would always
> appear, but where would he appear now? After all, really, where did he go?
>
> The loops eventually stopped at the realization that before it could
> be asked "Where did he go?" it must be asked "What is the 'he' that
> is gone?" There is an old cultural habit of thinking of people as
> primarily something material, as flesh and blood. As long as this
> idea held, there was no solution. The oxides of Chris's flesh and
> blood did, of course, go up the stack at the crematorium. But they
> weren't Chris.
>
> What had to be seen was that the Chris I missed so badly was not an
> object but a pattern, and that although the pattern included the
> flesh and blood of Chris, that was not all there was to it. The
> pattern was larger than Chris and myself, and related us in ways that
> neither of us understood completely and neither of us was in complete
> control of.
>
> Now Chris's body, which was a part of that larger pattern, was gone.
> But the larger pattern remained. A huge hole had been torn out of the
> center of it, and that was what caused all the heartache. The pattern
> was looking for something to attach to and couldn't find anything.
> That's probably why grieving people feel such attachment to cemetery
> headstones and any material property or representation of the
> deceased. The pattern is trying to hang on to its own existence by
> finding some new material thing to center itself upon." (Pirsig, ZMM 
> Afterward)
>
> Arlo
>
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