David M,

There really is a distinction between the world inside of us and the world
outside. Whether it is primary or secondary or epiphenomenal it's still
there. Whatever the limits on our knowledge of the outside, we can say with
confidence there is no unity inside. We have the five usual senses plus the
kinesthetic sense of balance and the sense of heat. We are driven by
hormones and neurotransmitters. We are not one, we are legion. We have
multiple personalities in the masks we wear and the roles we play. And they
are not always playing on the same team.

Paul said, "for the good that I will, I do not; but the evil that I do not
will, this I practice." This has always disturbed me. Are we ruled by
orderly thought or by passions? If we think about our behavior rationally,
isn't it is irrational?

It is hard to see how passions could feel slighted by their treatment in
modern times. We have technologies devotes to creating them. Emotions can be
rewound and replayed frame by frame. Far more resources are devoted to
effecting how we feel about things than what we think about then.

A television or radio commercial has 60 sec. or less to grab your attention
and make you listen up. There is no reason a sane person endure this 30 or
40 times a day. Jung identified thinking and feeling as polar opposites in
his personality theory. Many MoQers played a round of Myers-Briggs not long
ago and know that emotions play a critical role in how we understand
ourselves inside and outside. 

Emotions are instant. We have them long before we can say why. Rarely do we
act strictly according to reason. Rather, we relate to the world primarily
through emotion and we tend to see it as animate. We develop a personal
relationships, emotional attachments and sentimental feelings for our
friends and for our couches. 

Yesterday I was looking for a nail to fix something outside. I have a couple
of those small cabinets full of plastic drawers to hold small things I would
rather not lose. These drawers have been around a while and have been
ordered, disordered and re-ordered many times. One drawer is filled with
clips to join individual strands of phone wire. I found them beside a dirt
road near the shore of a pond where I lived for a time. It seemed a
telephone repair man had cleaned out of his truck. There were wall plates to
hang wall phones and lots of screws and brass phone terminals.

One drawer has a really old cheap single coil guitar pick up and another has
a set of guitar tuners. Someday I plan to mach a slide guitar out of a two
by four. But that plan has been kicking around for quit a while. 

There are knobs salvaged from stereos I threw away in the 80s. Drawers full
of screws left over from sculptural projects like a swing set, a grill,
several bicycles... You get the picture.

In a drawer I opened looking for just the right nail, there was a baby's
arm. Less than an inch long and crooked at the elbow; it has survive in one
spot or another in my possession for more than 40 years. It used to be
attached to a miniature baby doll. There were two of them at one time. I got
them at a carnival when I was a cub scout. They got stashed away some place
for years and when I found them as a teenager, they were cool because they
were naked and could be unisexually positioned to get a better handle on the
laws of physics obscured in the two dimensional renderings of the Kama
Sutra. I am not sure exactly how the arm wound up in the drawer but plastic
dolls are really not designed for Tantra. I bet I could find a one armed
baby doll and its mate around here somewhere. 

It feels right to think of those satisfied bits of flesh colored plastic
having grown up with me. Childhood, sex and child birth, attachment and loss
they have been with me; tucked in a box or stashed in a drawer. Surely they
have felt some of what I have felt. 

We have relationships with things as well as friends and family and people
we pass in the store. We invest those relationships with emotion and
empathy. It is hard to see how such an investment could fail to yield
returns.

Those drawers full of clips and stickers and nuts and bolts and nails and
screws are invested with me and in me. A forensic psychologist could analyze
the contents of those drawers see more of me in them than I would like to
admit. I am recorded in the contents, the order and the things out of place
of those drawers. My pattern is impressed there. My procrastination plays
Statesboro blues through a pickup flaking chrome on strings of telephone
wire. Hinges, rheostats, gears, magnets, hooks, pulleys and 30 year old box
of 22 shorts bear witness to the clutter of my mind.

Somewhere two naked babies arm wrestle. 
One of them lost the first round.

Does this actually have anything to do with what we were talking about?

Krimel







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