Benoit Claise <[email protected]> wrote:
> Hi Martin,
>
> Thanks for engaging quickly.
> [I removed the resolved entries]
> > Hi Benoit,
> >
> > Benoit Claise <[email protected]> wrote:
> >> Dear all,
> >>
> >> Here is part 1 of my AD review.
> >>
> >> I found this useful:
> >> http://tools.ietf.org/rfcdiff/rfcdiff.pyht?url1=http://www.ietf.org/rfc/rfc6020.txt&url2=http://www.ietf.org/id/draft-ietf-netmod-rfc6020bis-11.txt
> >>
> >> - Do we want to mention RESTCONF in the abstract? From the new charter:
> >>
> >> The NETMOD working group has defined the data modeling language
> >> YANG, which can be used to specify network management data models
> >> that are transported over such protocols as NETCONF and RESTCONF.
> >>
> >> OLD:
> >>
> >> YANG is a data modeling language used to model configuration data,
> >> state data, remote procedure calls, and notifications for network
> >> management protocols like the Network Configuration Protocol
> >> (NETCONF).
> >>
> >> NEW:
> >>
> >> YANG is a data modeling language used to model configuration data,
> >> state data, remote procedure calls, and notifications for network
> >> management protocols transported over such protocols as Network
> >> Configuration Protocol (NETCONF) and RESTCONF. This document specifies
> >> the YANG mappings to NETCONF.
> > The first paragraph in the introduction mentions other protocols;
> > RESCTONF and CoMI. My personal opinion is that this is sufficient,
> > but I'd like to hear what others think.
> The current abstract doesn't even mention the mapping to NETCONF.
See Juergen's proposal, I think that one is better.
> >> - Section 1.1
> >> Since this document introduces the NETCONF mapping, the protocol
> >> change must be included in section 1.1
> >> Example: no NETCONF capability exchange in YANG 1.1, we use
> >> exclusively the YANG library
> >> Any other ones?
> And this one?
NEW:
The following changes are done to the NETCONF mapping:
o A server advertises support for YANG 1.1 modules by using ietf-
yang-library [I-D.ietf-netconf-yang-library] instead of listing
them as capabilities in the <hello> message.
> >> - Terminology:
> >> The following terms are defined in [RFC6241
> >> <https://tools.ietf.org/html/rfc6241>]:
> >>
> >> ...
> >>
> >> o configuration datastore: a configuration datastore is an
> >> instantiated data tree with configuration data
> >>
> >> o datastore: an instantiated data tree
> >>
> >> RFC6241 has different definition for "configuration datastore" and
> >> "datastore".
> >> I would just provide the pointer to the RFC 6241 definitions.
> >> If you intend to provide an adapted definition for the YANG mappings,
> >> then you should say so.
> > How about:
> >
> > OLD:
> >
> > o configuration datastore: a configuration datastore is an
> > instantiated data tree with configuration data
> >
> > o datastore: an instantiated data tree
> >
> > NEW:
> >
> > o configuration datastore: When modelled with YANG, a configuration
> > datastore is an instantiated data tree with configuration data
> >
> > o datastore: When modelled with YANG, an instantiated data tree
> >
> This issue is with "The following terms are defined in [RFC6241]", but
> you re-define those terms.
> So give a warning about the redefinition to the readers.
Yes, that's what my proposed text does. It says that "datastore" is
defined in 6241, and when YANG is used, it means the instantiated data
tree.
> >> - Section 4.1
> >>
> >> YANG models can describe constraints to be enforced on the data,
> >> restricting the appearance or value of nodes based on the presence or
> >> value of other nodes in the hierarchy.
> >>
> >> I was looking for an example of appearance.
> >> NEW?
> >> YANG models can describe constraints to be enforced on the data,
> >> restricting the appearance (for example, with the "when" statement)
> >> or value of nodes based on the presence or value of other nodes in
> >> the hierarchy.
> > This is very early in the document, and the text tries to give a very
> > high level function overview. I am not sure that mentioning "when" at
> > this time actually helps a first time reader.
> The first time I read this, I was wondering how YANG data models can
> describe constraints on HOW data appear, while you wanted to express
> WHETHER a data appear. Maybe "when" is not the best way to help the
> first time user, but something is needed.
How about "restricting the presence or value of nodes"?
/martin
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