Hi all,

I'm going to explore this intersection of gender-free role terms +
welcoming new dancers + growing community a little bit. [And by "a little
bit" I actually mean a "a long soapbox about important stuff," so hang on
for the ride.]

I'm a genderqueer / gender nonconforming person, and a huge part of my folk
community includes transgender, nonbinary, and other gender nonconforming
folks. If you haven't been paying much attention to the news, let me tell
you: The political and social climate around gender and sexuality in the
United States right now is *terrifying* for LGBTQ+ folks. Twenty-three
states introduced laws in 2022 that infringe or attack the basic rights of
transgender and queer people, and more than 13 of those bills have become
law. There is a ton of hatred, fear, and violence being directed toward the
queer and trans community, especially youth, even in liberal states like
Vermont (where I live).

All this is to say — it's a hard and scary time to be a queer person. And
our dance communities have the potential to be places of radical inclusion,
expansiveness, safety, and welcome in a violent world that seeks to deny us
our basic right to exist.

   - When a dance uses gender-free terms, that is a step toward that
   radical inclusion.
   - When dancers are comfortable and happy to dance with any person in any
   role, that's another step. (For example, if you've got a lot of men who
   show obvious discomfort at swinging anyone who's not a woman, the dancing
   is likely to feel icky and unsafe to trans & nonbinary folks or anyone
   swapping roles, regardless of terms used.)
   - When we take the time to explain our dance culture as well as the
   basic moves, that's another step.
   - When we offer nametags with a place to write in pronouns, that's
   another step.
   - When we offer a sliding scale to make our dance accessible to folks of
   all income levels, that's another step.
   - When people can see themselves reflected in the organizing committee
   members (i.e. diversity of age, gender, class background, race, etc), in a
   way that's actually sharing the work and not tokenizing people, that's
   another step.
   - When long-time dancers ask newcomers to dance in a friendly but not
   pushy way, and we normalize saying no as well as saying yes, that's another
   step.
   - When we normalize giving and receiving feedback about the way our
   dancing affects others, that's another step. (i.e. "hey, will you grab my
   hand less tightly? that hurts." "oh! thanks for telling me! is that better?)
   - When we are transparent about why we're doing what we're doing (i.e.
   our values, like Julian suggested), that's another step. When I get up to
   give announcements, for example, I thank people for helping to make the
   dance welcoming and inclusive, and I speak about our sliding scale, our
   name buttons, our role terms, and wearing masks all as pathways to a more
   inclusive and welcoming space, as ways that we care for one another.
   - (Right now, I am still inclined to think that wearing masks is another
   way that we create spaces of radical inclusion and safety, especially for
   folks at higher risk for COVID, but that's a whole other kettle of fish.)

On the flip side: If a dance uses gendered role terms, or when organizers
say things like "ugh I don't like Robins & Larks," or "I don't want to push
the issue," what I hear is:
"we don't care about you,"
"we don't think transgender or nonbinary people exist," or
"you're causing problems for us just by being yourself."
OUCH.

I would gently offer that there is no such thing as a non-political space.
Everything is political, even though you may not have noticed because the
politics weren't affecting you and you were comfortable because the current
setup worked for you. This is a country where people are actively passing
laws that harm transgender and queer people. Choosing NOT to do something
is also a political act.

We set our dance culture together. People will notice the vibes more than
you think. Let's keep striving toward spaces that are deeply welcoming,
growthful, and joyful for everyone! This is part of why I am called to keep
organizing dances: because I can see the power in creating a community that
exists a little bit outside of space and time for a moment, a community
where we get to see the kind of joy, connection, collaboration, and care
that we dream of for society at large. What a delightful, magical thing.

Yours in building joyful, inclusive dance community,
Dana
Montpelier, VT


On Wed, Mar 15, 2023 at 8:53 AM Julian Blechner via Organizers <
[email protected]> wrote:

> Lots of good suggestions from a lot of people.
>
> I think I can boil down success keeping new dancers to:
> 1. Listen to youth, put then on your committee, and implement their
> suggestions.
> 2. Have a written values statement, which all of your other policies
> follow.
> 3. Make it clear you want to hear from dancers with compliments or
> complaints. And actually deal with complaints. Over and over, the biggest
> reason I hear people not returning (other than just not liking the dance
> form) is unhandled and ignored complaints.
>
> In dance,
> Julian Blechner
>
> On Wed, Mar 15, 2023, 8:10 AM Chrissy Fowler via Organizers <
> [email protected]> wrote:
>
>> *“Getting back to the subject of repeat visitors, perhaps the biggest
>> difference of all is a caller who brings the fun and the inclusiveness, the
>> type who can laugh with you when something goes goofy.  (…  . ) I'm
>> tremendously grateful to everyone organizing contra dances, and to all the
>> people trying to make their dance a little bit better each week.*
>> *Lex Spoon”*
>>
>> Hear, hear!
>>
>> (And I think it’s also the organizers who can bring that fun and
>> inclusiveness and set the tone for embracing the goofiness.) Let’s face it,
>> even though some folks forget and take it all a bit too seriously, these
>> dances we love are *incredibly* weird. Beautifully so, but definitely on
>> the silly side of joy.
>>
>> I’m also grateful for all you folks sharing ideas and experiences openly
>> and nonjudgmentally. What a gift!
>>
>> Chrissy Fowler
>> Belfast Maine
>> *Where we are digging out from the latest nor’easter (ah the joys of
>> finally getting winter weather in March)*
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-- 
Dana Dwinell-Yardley
pronouns: she/her/hers
802-505-6639
Montpelier, Vermont
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