Re: [ozmidwifery] Rape by stealth (longish)

[Aviva Sheb'a]

Oh, bloody hell, this is right up my alley, so to speak, Megan. I'm working on a script, Rapee, which is due to be at ABC radio end of this year. Yes, it is a form of rape. I've worked with women who have experienced dreadful things at the hands of medical practitioners who get away with all sorts of abuse because of this kind of silence. I'm exploring all kinds of rape, though it starts off with a pack rape in which I, at the age of 19, was the rapee. The very fact that the English language has a word for the perpetrator that empowers him(/her), but the only word for someone who has been raped is 'victim'. 'Rapist' actually empower; 'victim' keeps the person as a victim. So I invented the word Rapee, which enables the rapee to make the step from victim to survivor, then further to Thriver (another word I had to invent, as there's no word for someone who thrives), then another step beyond Thriver is Triumpher (courtesy of my extraordinary friend, Beverley Searle). So the actual steps are from Victim to Survivor to Thriver and eventually to Triumpher. How do I know this works? Because I've been there and done that.   It can take a hellishly long time to acknowledge any form of rape. Under the circumstances you describe here, I can imagine how it would feel. Yes, your woman would feel she's been raped. She has been. If there's no support for her, that's another dreadful indictment on our society and I for one would be supportive of her.   That doctor needs to be brought to account. He needs to be made aware of what's going on, of what he's done (and one can only speculate about how regularly he does this kind of 'intervention').   Well, you've really got me fired up, Megan! If you want to ring me, my number's (08) 8333 2762. I'd like to include this type of case (obviously the case would be anonymous), in the radio script.   How many sexual assault workers does it take to change a light globe?   A whole world full -- it's such a bloody big globe.   Hugs and strength to you, the woman, her man and the bub,   Aviva ----- Original Message ----- From: Larry & Megan To: ozmidwifery Sent: Saturday, October 19, 2002 10:00 PM Subject: [ozmidwifery] Rape by stealth (longish) Can I burrow some wisdom from the list? I have just visited my friend and her new baby in hospital. Her doctor suggested she be induced a week early because her baby was looking like being a good 9lb plus?(her first was 9lb). She trusted his wisdom and went ahead, having gels late evening and the following morning, nothing happening. At 1pm he broke her waters. This bit I am appaled at. He has very large hands, and the agony it caused her was awful, even to the point of screaming at him to stop. He didn't. Eventually labour started and late that evening with the aid of an epidural she birthed a lovely little boy, weighing only 8lb5oz. Mum and baby doing well. I asked her if he commented on the weight , of course he hasn't and they don't want to say anything. She was induced for no good reason. She described the ARM as what she imagines being raped would feel like, (I guess physically and emotionally) this will also not be passed on to him. I feel that she was raped and there is nothing I can do about it. I can't force her to acknowledge what happened, her and hubby are relatively happy and she has a beautiful baby that neeeds her. It is safer for them to think of it as a medical procedure because if you acknowledge it as rape, who is going to help them deal with it all. How many women and men experience this? This doctor will never know how he made her feel and can continue to practice like this because the silence says it is OK. I am so frustrated and sad that she had to experience it at all. It reinforces my belief in NMAP and the need for women to have the very best of care. thanks, I just needed to vent off, my husbands ears are tired, Megan. -- This mailing list is sponsored by ACE Graphics. Visit <http://www.acegraphics.com.au> to subscribe or unsubscribe.