It's also similar when women say "I've always had to have my waters broken -
the doctors tell me they are so tough they would never break on their own".
Funny - I thought membranes had to be tough - they have to last the whole
pregnancy! And what a job they do!
----- Original Message -----
From: "Robin Moon" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
To: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
Sent: Monday, October 21, 2002 5:35 AM
Subject: Re: [ozmidwifery] Rape by stealth (longish)


> It's all very scary isnt it?
> the majority of women will accept such practices because of their belief
in
> the infallibility of the doctor to do what is right. Aside from the issue
> where some people feel raped by such procedures, many accept it because it
> is seen as the doctor 'doing' something. He 'had' to induce, or he 'had'
to
> find the cervix. I just find it so sad. A cervix that is not ready is the
> clearest indicator that ---- it's not ready! Not that it requires
pummelling
> into submission. I once cared for a woman who remained 4cm for a number of
> hours despite good contractions. Her obstetrician came and within minutes
> had manipulated the cervix into being fully dilated - plenty of blood in
> that procedure. I was appalled- imagine how sore she would have been next
> day.
>
> Mary Chiarella talks about theses issues in her book ' Silence in the
> Courts'. She suggests nurses live in a professional  'shadowland' when it
> comes to  an ability to intervene in unsavoury medical practices. Or, more
> realistically, be heard.
> http://www.nmh.uts.edu.au/whatsnew/2000/silence.html
>
> Robin
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Lynne Staff" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
> To: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
> Sent: Sunday, October 20, 2002 9:13 PM
> Subject: Re: [ozmidwifery] Rape by stealth (longish)
>
>
> > You know Denise, you have touched on something I have discussed with
Vicki
> > many times - love. What we (aspire to) do as midwives means loving
women.
> > And I have also experienced anger and hate for speaking about this
> > (situations where women suffer at the hands of professionals who are
> > supposed to care but cannot, or else why would they not stop when a
woman
> > asks them to, when she feels she is hurting, or being injured or worse,
> > violated).
> >
> > So I say again, as I did in a recent posting, there is a Health Rights
> > Commission there to be utilised in instances just such as these. If the
> > woman cannot find the strength (or does not wish, for whatever reason)
to
> > take the issue further, then we as midwives can (we can in QLD -
> anonymously
> > too, because midwives also are threatened for rocking the boat).
Partners
> > often feel intense anger at what occurs, but when the babe is born,
there
> is
> > the "well, thank goodness my partner and the baby are OK" thoughts which
> are
> > reinforced by professionals when they say  "a good outcome, eh?" There
is
> an
> > increasing body of evidence which points to the trauma partners also
> > experience when they are witness to these ATROCITIES (and one has to
call
> > them that, for that is what they are). This is so connected to the
> couple's
> > most intimate, personal and sexual selves - but where are the avenues
for
> > them to say "No DON'T!" Or when they do say, shout....plead, who hears,
> and
> > moreso, who listens?
> >
> > ----- Original Message -----
> > From: "Denise Hynd" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
> > To: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
> > Sent: Sunday, October 20, 2002 11:11 AM
> > Subject: Re: [ozmidwifery] Rape by stealth (longish)
> >
> >
> > > Dear Megan and others
> > > I wish this was an aberation but as some one who has taken students
for
> > > maternity expereince in different hospitals and done agency work in
even
> > > more I have seen too much acceptance of this insensitivity to the
> physical
> > > and emotional feelings of women.
> > > Look at this particualr situation and multiply it be even a smal
> > proportion
> > > of the ARMs out there!
> > >
> > > There would have been hospital staff present when this was happening
did
> > > they say anything were they even looking to see how this woman was
> > reacting,
> > > let alone her partner??
> > >
> > > Why did they not say anything to him let alone intercede?
> > >
> > > Too many of us do not question let alone act to stop these situations.
> > >
> > > Rather midwives help set the women up for these procedures and
maintain
> > that
> > > this is necessary that really sadenes me!!
> > > And I have expereinced the anger and hate when I say these things
> > >
> > > For me we need the change of implementing NMAP not only to improve the
> > > experinces of the birthing women but to bring the attendants back to
> what
> > it
> > > is to be a woman to feel her real pains, to be "with Woman"  and act
to
> > stop
> > > the cause, to show them they can and should act in love not fear
around
> > > birth.
> > >
> > > Denise
> > > ----- Original Message -----
> > > From: Larry & Megan <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
> > > To: ozmidwifery <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
> > > Sent: Saturday, October 19, 2002 10:30 PM
> > > Subject: [ozmidwifery] Rape by stealth (longish)
> > >
> > >
> > > > Can I burrow some wisdom from the list?
> > > > I have just visited my friend and her new baby in hospital. Her
doctor
> > > > suggested she be induced a week early because her baby was looking
> like
> > > > being a good 9lb plus?(her first was 9lb). She trusted his wisdom
and
> > went
> > > > ahead, having gels late evening and the following morning, nothing
> > > > happening. At 1pm he broke her waters. This bit I am appaled at. He
> has
> > > very
> > > > large hands, and the agony it caused her was awful, even to the
point
> of
> > > > screaming at him to stop. He didn't. Eventually labour started and
> late
> > > that
> > > > evening with the aid of an epidural she birthed a lovely little boy,
> > > > weighing only 8lb5oz. Mum and baby doing well.
> > > > I asked her if he commented on the weight , of course he hasn't and
> they
> > > > don't want to say anything. She was induced for no good reason. She
> > > > described the ARM as what she imagines being raped would feel like,
(I
> > > guess
> > > > physically and emotionally) this will also not be passed on to him.
> > > > I feel that she was raped and there is nothing I can do about it. I
> > can't
> > > > force her to acknowledge what happened, her and hubby are relatively
> > happy
> > > > and she has a beautiful baby that neeeds her. It is safer for them
to
> > > think
> > > > of it as a medical procedure because if you acknowledge it as rape,
> who
> > is
> > > > going to help them deal with it all. How many women and men
experience
> > > this?
> > > > This doctor will never know how he made her feel and can continue to
> > > > practice like this because the silence says it is OK. I am so
> frustrated
> > > and
> > > > sad that she had to experience it at all.
> > > >
> > > > It reinforces my belief in NMAP and the need for women to have the
> very
> > > best
> > > > of care.
> > > >
> > > > thanks, I just needed to vent off, my husbands ears are tired,
> > > > Megan.
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > --
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> > >
> > > --
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> >
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>
>
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