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Ann,
I think you are right - I think that after a "birth rape" experience
a woman does not find closure at all.
I think that if she is as lucky as i have been and finds wonderful
people like all of you to both vent to and to shed some understanding of
the situation and hope of it not recurring, then she may find acceptance
of what has happened and find a way to live with it as an unfortunate
thing that happened. I don't think that anyone can really find
closure to something so traumatic which has no closure - closure to
me insinuates an understanding of the reason why and acceptance of
it. I don't think there can ever be true closure because there
is no real reason "Why?" there is no answer.
I found closure after the traumatic yet acceptable birth of my
daughter, I got sick with Pre eclampsia - there was a reason.
With my son there was NO reason for the stupidity and cruelty of
them and therefore there can never be true closure.
Hope that makes sence as I know for many midwives who have been
unable to protect women from these things that their inner torment has no
closure - there is just an acceptance of the things we cannot change and a
strength to change the events of the future to prevent a recurance.
Regards
Rhonda.
-------Original Message-------
Date: Saturday,
November 09, 2002 22:17:05
Subject: Re:
[ozmidwifery] another horror story: closure is a myth
Dear list,
On a film/documentary on rape a counsellor
made the
following statement,"Closure is a myth, a woman after
being
raped is never the same."She then quoted a case
where a woman never
slept more than 2-3 hours,wore
runners to bed( she thought that if she
had being
wearing runners she could have escaped) and her
marriage
broke up.I thought after a horrible birth a
woman is never the same.I
know I am not the same woman
before I had Edwina almost 4 years ago.I
changed
insurance co. so a homebirth would be covered and soon
after
having Samuel we changed to just basic cover as
I no longer trusted
private hospitals( Edwina was born
in a private hospital).I also
started setting
boundaries with people and with the time and
money
saved started a small investment portfolio.This has
grown over
time to possibly giving us in the next 1-2
years a basic income.Is this
better than before?Quite
honestly I don't know but it is 'different' to
where I
was 4 years ago.Ann --- Andrea Bilcliff
<[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
wrote: > MessageYesterday I
heard about a woman who birthed
>
recently. She arrived at hospital already 5cm
> dilated after just
having a 'show' at home. She was
> pressured into having an ARM to
'get things moving
> along' (?!?!). This was her first baby and he
was
> born with the aid of forceps (after a failed vacuum
>
extraction) just four hours later for failure to
> progress! There
was no fetal distress prior to the
> birth but her baby needed
resuscitation and went
> 'battered & bruised' to the nursery.
She was told
> that if her baby had gone to term (he was 10
days
> 'early') he would have died because the cord was
>
around his neck! The woman developed an infection
> and is having
breastfeeding problems.
> Needless to say she wants a homebirth if
there is a
> next time.
> Vicki's right...it is tragic :
(
> Andrea B
>
> ----- Original Message -----
>
From: Vicki Chan
> To: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
> Sent: Friday, November 08, 2002 12:37 AM
> Subject:
[ozmidwifery] another horror story
>
>
> A woman I
spoke to yesterday spoke of her
> starstruck obstetrician being
overly excited about
> the celeb status of her husband...her labour
was
> rocking along beautifully but it didnt look like
> hubby
would make it for the birth...the ob arranged
> for her to have an
epidural which rendered her
> incapacitated when her husband finally
made it... no
> problem! that's why God invented Vacuum
>
Extractors!! Her first babe she'd managed to birth
> unaided.
Tragic!
>
> We could (and will, no doubt) go on!
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