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Ann,
I think you are right - I think that after a "birth rape"
experience a woman does not find closure at all.
I think that if she is as lucky as i have been and finds
wonderful people like all of you to both vent to and to shed
some understanding of the situation and hope of it not
recurring, then she may find acceptance of what has happened and
find a way to live with it as an unfortunate thing that
happened. I don't think that anyone can really find
closure to something so traumatic which has no closure - closure
to me insinuates an understanding of the reason why and
acceptance of it. I don't think there can ever be
true closure because there is no real reason "Why?" there
is no answer.
I found closure after the traumatic yet acceptable birth of
my daughter, I got sick with Pre eclampsia - there was a
reason.
With my son there was NO reason for the stupidity and
cruelty of them and therefore there can never be true
closure.
Hope that makes sence as I know for many midwives who have
been unable to protect women from these things that their inner
torment has no closure - there is just an acceptance of the
things we cannot change and a strength to change the events of
the future to prevent a recurance.
Regards
Rhonda.
-------Original
Message-------
Date:
Saturday, November 09, 2002 22:17:05
Subject: Re:
[ozmidwifery] another horror story: closure is a
myth
Dear list,
On a film/documentary on rape a
counsellor made the
following statement,"Closure is a myth, a
woman after
being raped is never the same."She then quoted a
case
where a woman never slept more than 2-3
hours,wore
runners to bed( she thought that if she had
being
wearing runners she could have escaped) and
her
marriage broke up.I thought after a horrible birth
a
woman is never the same.I know I am not the same
woman
before I had Edwina almost 4 years ago.I
changed
insurance co. so a homebirth would be covered and
soon
after having Samuel we changed to just basic cover
as
I no longer trusted private hospitals( Edwina was
born
in a private hospital).I also started
setting
boundaries with people and with the time and
money
saved started a small investment portfolio.This
has
grown over time to possibly giving us in the next
1-2
years a basic income.Is this better than
before?Quite
honestly I don't know but it is 'different' to
where I
was 4 years ago.Ann --- Andrea Bilcliff
<[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
wrote: > MessageYesterday I
heard about a woman who
birthed
> recently. She arrived at hospital already
5cm
> dilated after just having a 'show' at home. She
was
> pressured into having an ARM to 'get things
moving
> along' (?!?!). This was her first baby and he
was
> born with the aid of forceps (after a failed
vacuum
> extraction) just four hours later for failure
to
> progress! There was no fetal distress prior to
the
> birth but her baby needed resuscitation and
went
> 'battered & bruised' to the nursery. She was
told
> that if her baby had gone to term (he was 10
days
> 'early') he would have died because the cord
was
> around his neck! The woman developed an
infection
> and is having breastfeeding problems.
>
Needless to say she wants a homebirth if there is a
> next
time.
> Vicki's right...it is tragic : (
> Andrea
B
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From:
Vicki Chan
> To: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
> Sent: Friday, November 08, 2002 12:37 AM
>
Subject: [ozmidwifery] another horror story
>
>
> A woman I spoke to yesterday spoke of her
>
starstruck obstetrician being overly excited about
> the
celeb status of her husband...her labour was
> rocking
along beautifully but it didnt look like
> hubby would
make it for the birth...the ob arranged
> for her to have
an epidural which rendered her
> incapacitated when her
husband finally made it... no
> problem! that's why God
invented Vacuum
> Extractors!! Her first babe she'd
managed to birth
> unaided. Tragic!
>
> We
could (and will, no doubt) go on!
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