Ann,
I think you are right - I think that after a "birth rape"
experience a woman does not find closure at all.
I think that if she is as lucky as i have been and finds
wonderful people like all of you to both vent to and to shed some
understanding of the situation and hope of it not recurring, then
she may find acceptance of what has happened and find a way to
live with it as an unfortunate thing that happened. I
don't think that anyone can really find closure to something so
traumatic which has no closure - closure to me insinuates an
understanding of the reason why and acceptance of it.
I don't think there can ever be true closure because there is no
real reason "Why?" there is no answer.
I found closure after the traumatic yet acceptable birth of
my daughter, I got sick with Pre eclampsia - there was a
reason.
With my son there was NO reason for the stupidity and cruelty
of them and therefore there can never be true closure.
Hope that makes sence as I know for many midwives who have
been unable to protect women from these things that their inner
torment has no closure - there is just an acceptance of the things
we cannot change and a strength to change the events of the future
to prevent a recurance.
Regards
Rhonda.
-------Original
Message-------
Date: Saturday,
November 09, 2002 22:17:05
Subject: Re:
[ozmidwifery] another horror story: closure is a myth
Dear list, On a film/documentary on rape a
counsellor made the following statement,"Closure is a myth, a
woman after being raped is never the same."She then quoted a
case where a woman never slept more than 2-3
hours,wore runners to bed( she thought that if she had
being wearing runners she could have escaped) and
her marriage broke up.I thought after a horrible birth
a woman is never the same.I know I am not the same
woman before I had Edwina almost 4 years ago.I
changed insurance co. so a homebirth would be covered and
soon after having Samuel we changed to just basic cover as I
no longer trusted private hospitals( Edwina was born in a
private hospital).I also started setting boundaries with people
and with the time and money saved started a small investment
portfolio.This has grown over time to possibly giving us in the
next 1-2 years a basic income.Is this better than
before?Quite honestly I don't know but it is 'different' to
where I was 4 years ago.Ann --- Andrea Bilcliff <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
wrote: > MessageYesterday I heard about a woman who
birthed > recently. She arrived at hospital already
5cm > dilated after just having a 'show' at home. She
was > pressured into having an ARM to 'get things
moving > along' (?!?!). This was her first baby and he
was > born with the aid of forceps (after a failed
vacuum > extraction) just four hours later for failure
to > progress! There was no fetal distress prior to
the > birth but her baby needed resuscitation and
went > 'battered & bruised' to the nursery. She was
told > that if her baby had gone to term (he was 10
days > 'early') he would have died because the cord
was > around his neck! The woman developed an
infection > and is having breastfeeding problems. >
Needless to say she wants a homebirth if there is a > next
time. > Vicki's right...it is tragic : ( > Andrea
B > > ----- Original Message ----- > From:
Vicki Chan > To: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
> Sent: Friday, November 08, 2002 12:37 AM > Subject:
[ozmidwifery] another horror story > > > A
woman I spoke to yesterday spoke of her > starstruck
obstetrician being overly excited about > the celeb status
of her husband...her labour was > rocking along beautifully
but it didnt look like > hubby would make it for the
birth...the ob arranged > for her to have an epidural which
rendered her > incapacitated when her husband finally made
it... no > problem! that's why God invented Vacuum >
Extractors!! Her first babe she'd managed to birth >
unaided. Tragic! > > We could (and will, no doubt) go
on!
__________________________________________________ Do
You Yahoo!? Everything you'll ever need on one web page from
News and Sport to Email and Music Charts http://uk.my.yahoo.com -- This
mailing list is sponsored by ACE Graphics. Visit <http://www.acegraphics.com.au>
to subscribe or unsubscribe.
. |