[ozmidwifery] Fw: howdy

[Aviva Sheb'a]

Dear All, Here's the latest from Alice. She needs support not with Luna, but with her man. As I've never parented with a partner, I am no expert at dealing with off the planet fathers. Any and all advice welcome please! Aviva ----- Original Message ----- From alice To: aviva Sent: Thursday, January 09, 2003 10:58 AM Subject: howdy Hi Aviva, Hope you're well.  I've been having a great time with Luna's night time sleeping!  Proud to say that she slept from 10pm till 5:30am this morning - woo hoo - what a little gem!  On another note, we have a slight issue on the domestic front.  As part of Jonathan's master plan for the garden, he has dug a hole for a pond on the flower side of the garden (as opposed to the native low-water side) and it just dawned on me that this is basically a death trap for a toddler which i brought gently to his attention, merely suggesting that we need to make it child safe or not at all.  And the next day Jonathan said in these exact words "I have come to the conclusion with the pond issue that I want to keep the pond and since it's too hard to build a fence around it, we can never let Luna out of our sight and it won't be a problem." This comment is clear evidence that he has absolutely no idea what looking after a toddler will entail, so i have come to the conclusion that we are not having a pond and now it is my challenge to find a way for Jonathan to think it's his idea not to keep the pond.....hmmm....especially since i will be the one caring for her most of the time, and especially since it would probably be when daddy is looking after her that she gets out of his sight quite often, i will not have this impending danger on my doorstep every day.  Sometimes he is so unrealistic i find it very frustrating, like i'm the one who always has to bring him back down to earth with a hard thud.  Also, you know how we are going to the Rainbow Serpent festival 24-26 Jan?  Well, that's all cool, i'm confident everything will go relatively smoothly (despite Jonathan's objections about protecting Luna from the sun "She has to get used to it sometime") and we have been given a 2 for 1 voucher for the movies, which is for that week as well.  So Jonathan says "Cool, we can go and see the movie the night before we go to the festival, your parents can look after Luna with a bottle of your breastmilk, then we will go to the festival the next day."  Ok, for a start i don't want to give her a bottle yet, also i don't want her first babysitting experience to be right before we go camping because it is bound to upset her routine, and besides i don't really give a shit about the movie, so he can take his friend, Sam.  I'm happy to stay home and rest and get prepared for our adventure. Jonathan's attitude to the sun really pisses me off.  YOu can tell he grew up in Canada, not Australia.  Besides that he gets sunburnt nearly every day at work, tells me it's a 'controlled burn' to build up a tolerance to the sun!?!?!?!?!?!!!!!!  He says that since we will be enjoying an outdoor type beachy lifestyle eventually, there is no point protecting her from the sun, she needs to build up a resistance.  So i told him that if i see him with her out in the sun unprotected for one second i'm going to bash him.  It's as if he has no idea about the fragility of a baby.  He thinks i'm overreacting to the dangers of the sun.  Even when we are outside and it's not that sunny, she still squints from the glare of the sky, even when we are under shade and Jonathan's like "Well she has to get used to it" and of course she will but she's only a baby!!!!  Everything's very sensitive right now, she has only just entered this world!  No amount of forcing her to look at glare is going to help her eyes, Jonathan has this thing about building up her tolerance for things which in a way is true, but geez, need to be aware of her development, which he has no interest in since 'our baby is not like other babies'.  I can see his point, but i feel like he is forcing things on her before she is ready, and he has no interest in finding out about when she might be ready, or accepting the observation that she's obviously not ready, just wants her to grow up and accept the way he wants her to be before she is ready.  I feel like telling him to piss of for a few months so she can just be a baby for a while then come back, maybe a few years. Well, of course i am exaggerating.  He is a brilliant dad and very affectionate and caring with LUna, but sometimes his head is in the clouds.  Sorry to sound like this is a bitch session about Jonathan, but these things are on my mind and they will be dealt with successfully, i just have to get it off my chest, helps me look at the situation more rationally.  He is a gem and i love him to bits, but it just seems like lately i have to be the sensible one, moreso since he is so unrealistic at times, and i hate seeming like a party pooper to burst his unrealistic bubble all the time.  It's ok, we'll be fine, just need to deal with it in such a way as not to damage his delicate male ego, and explain things to him so he thinks it's a good idea rather than telling him off.  God, i have to be such a diplomat lately!!!!! Anyway, it would be great to see you sometime, just let me know when's good for you, Alice xxx   ---   Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com). 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