Really in any birthing situation there is no place for any objective
observer/bystander at whichever "end".
If you are not contributing to the energy in the room then you are depleting
it. This applies to fathers as well as anyone else.
Watching something & contributing or participating in it are 2 very
different things.
I asked the father of our children about our births & he said:
"As a couple we created our babies & as a couple we brought them into the
world. We did it together.
Surely that's the bottom line. Anything that was done 'to you', I wanted to
know about to help you with, it did not alter my perception of your body".
Having had 4 children, 2 of them at home, I know that my husband was my
lifeline.
He made hospital bearable & home feel safe & familiar.
I won't say "I couldn't have done it without him" because obviously my body
would have given birth regardless, but having him there to be with me
without doubt brought us closer as parents. As parents we were strong, as a
couple unfortunately we were not, but I remember his strength & empathy
whenever I am with him & he will forever be loved & respected in my eyes for
his part in our births.
BM
----- Original Message -----
From: "Jo Bourne" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Wednesday, August 31, 2005 12:53 PM
Subject: Re: [ozmidwifery] Men at births
The thing that struck me is that they were both talking about standing "at
the wrong end of the bed". When I told my husband about the article he
first snorted and then when I pointed out this theme of wishing they had
"stood at the other end of the bed" he felt that standing around as a
witness to a dramatic medical event probably would have been traumatic for
him as compared to actively participating in something that was entirely
about the two of us and our baby and was not medical at all. Perhaps this
was the advantage of his spending the entire labour either providing
counter pressure on my back or holding me up - he never actually saw
anything but he was very useful to me and "wouldn't have missed it for the
world".
At 10:55 AM +1000 31/8/05, Andrea Robertson wrote:
This is an interesting report in today's Sydney Morning Herald. I remember
Michel Odent talking about research done in the US that explored the
effect on a couple's sexual relationship when the man had been exposed to
the birth process. Michel was advocating that women might want to retain
some of their "sexual mystery" by excluding men from the birth room. I
have been at births where I wondered how the father was taking the sight
of a practitioner cutting an episiotomy.....
What does everyone think about this?
http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2005/08/30/1125302566185.html
Regards,
Andrea
-----
Andrea Robertson
Birth International * ACE Graphics * Associates in Childbirth Education
e-mail: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
web: www.birthinternational.com
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Jo Bourne
Virtual Artists Pty Ltd
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