In the old days before email, and the internet was not widely known about, we'd installed computers in several hundred of a client's regional offices. The machines were supplied with the O.S. and applications pre-installed on a removable harddisk. After the whole lot had gone out we discovered some quite serious errors in a config file. The machines had no floppy disks and the harddisks were too expensive to send out with just a patch on, so we organized a huge phone-out project to talk-through the fix with someone at each office. We got each person to confirm they were used to typing first, and made them read each line back before they pressed Return.
Me: "Are you familiar with typing?" Her: (nervously) "er...yes, but only on a typewriter, not a computer" Me: "That's OK the keyboard works in a similar way and I'll tell you exactly what to type." (snip - managed to get into the editor and read in the file) "Right can you see the 'E?' prompt?" Her: "Yes" Me: "Type '1 , $ s / ... " (interrupted) Her: "er... where's dollar?" Me: "On the 4 key" Her: "Oh yes, I can see it. So that'll be Shift 4 then?" Me: "Yes ........ OK, have you done that? (hearing more key clicks than should be necessary) What have you got?" Her: "It's still says 4, keeps coming up 4." Me: "You're pressing Shift?" (beginning to wonder if there's something wrong with the keyboard) Her: "Yes" Me: "Ummm ... And you're definitely keeping Shift pressed while typing the 4?" Her: "Oh. No. Do I have to do that?" ... D'oh! Ian. P.S. Yes, send your typing stories. > -----Original Message----- > From: Darren.Branagh > Sent: 29 January 2002 10:50 > To: ql-users > Cc: Darren.Branagh > Subject: Re: [ql-users] win format > > > > > The best keyboard/typing one I ever heard was from a friend > who works in > the Call Centre for Microsoft. Apparently this story is a > legend in there. > > This girl calls up to say she can't get Word 6 (back in Win > 3.1 days here) > to work on her 286 /386 or whatever it is. She has put Disk 1 > of the set of > 6 or 7 in the floppy drive, followed the instructions, but > nothing happens > - everytime she enters "INSTALL" from the A:> prompt, she > gets "bad command > or file name". > > The Microsoft assistant tries everything, and talks her through the > procedure twice, to no avail, even checks to see if she is > inserting the > floppy fully and its the right way up in the drive. Still no joy. > > Eventually, frustrated after an hour long attempt, the > Microsoft guy says > " are you absolutely sure you're typing INSTALL?" > > To which the girl replies " Well, yeah - except my N key is > broken, so I'm > using M instead - does that matter?" > > Amazing how stupid some people can be....... > > BTW, I have loads more of these if anybodys interested!! > > Darren Branagh, > Consumer Lending Business, > Bank Of Ireland Card Services, > Nassau House, 33/35 Nassau Street, Dublin 2. Ireland. > Tel: 01-6176368 (Direct Line) Fax: 01-6798717 > [EMAIL PROTECTED] > > > > > > > Tony Firshman > > <[EMAIL PROTECTED] To: > [EMAIL PROTECTED] > mon.co.uk> cc: > > Sent by: Subject: Re: > [ql-users] win format > owner-ql-users@nv > > g.ntnu.no > > > > > > 29/01/2002 10:24 > > Please respond to > > ql-users > > > > > > > > > On Tue, 29 Jan 2002 at 09:14:43, Norman Dunbar wrote: > (ref: > <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>) > > >When I worked at BMW in Munich, they buy our software, we > had to learn how > >to use a Germoan layout - interesting ! > >When we came home again and had to use an UK layout, we had > all sorts of > fun > >- every 'w' was replaced by a 'z' for about a week afterwards. > >Then, we had to go back to Munich again ......... > > > >As the Chinese would say 'interesting times' ! > No - they might _write_ that but would _say_ 'Intelesting > times' (8-)# > > Oh yes - it is worth repeating my favourite 'mistyping' story. > In my Kodak days (urkk over 30 years ago) we had a very > unhappy typist. > She spent all her time (pre-computer) typing schedules for KD > shipments > on a manual typewriter. > ... and retyping 'cos we made mistakes and re-re-typing 'cos she made > mistakes. > > On one occasional all mentions of 'Shipping Dates' turned > into 'Shitting > Dates' and no-one noticed in the office. I think Rosemary > did not last > very ling (8-)# > > -- > QBBS (QL fido BBS 2:257/67) +44(0)1442-828255 > mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] http://www.firshman.demon.co.uk > Voice: +44(0)1442-828254 Fax: +44(0)1442-828255 > TF Services, 29 Longfield Road, TRING, Herts, HP23 4DG > > > > > > > ******************************************************************** > This email and any files transmitted with it are confidential and > intended solely for the use of the individual or entity to > whom they > are addressed. If you have received this email in error please > notify us immediately at [EMAIL PROTECTED] and delete this E-mail > from your system. Thank you. > It is possible for data transmitted by email to be deliberately or > accidentally corrupted or intercepted. 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