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Yet I'm a high level quad and in both my relationships ... THEY were after me. I have an inferiority complex so I am clueless as to what they saw/see in me.
But BOTH said that my chair & my paralysis was not ME.
I think the biggest obstacle after being IN the relationship .. is the secondary problems that we get and I've had whoppers. I think my ex of 12 yrs ... couldn't handle what I went through during shunt surgeries and with him approaching 40 ... he wanted another life.
My current husband made the "marriage commitment" and is of stronger character. We couldn't forsee Medicare home help going sour and when venting he'll say "I didn't sign up for this." Meaning having to get involved w/ my health care.
What doesn't kill us is making us stronger but the killing is tough.
Lori
-------Original Message-------
Date: 02/08/05 09:21:47
Subject: Re: [QUAD-L] My theory
Of corse your right.
It's much easier for a para who can live alone, take care of themselves, drive on a date, etc. Than for a quad who has their aide drive them on a date, or asking your date to empty your legbag, or transfer you to a bed, or cut up your food, etc.
Plus just looks. A para can still look healthy, nice strong chest and arms. etc.
Paras can work a bit easier too.
That's not saying a quad can't date, but let's be real. More money on average I bet, drive easier, can actually drive and pick up a date, looks.
just my thoughts
Greg
----- Original Message -----
Sent: Monday, February 07, 2005 6:58 PM
Subject: [QUAD-L] My theory
I have a theory about sexuality and spinal cord injuries. I believe that the lower the injury level or higher the function is for SCI individuals the more attractive women or men will be to that person. Though I hold no grudge against paraplegics or low level quadriplegics, I think it is so much easier to introduce yourself to women and break the ice as well as develop a relationship when that person is not confronted with a bulky electric chair etc.. I might be wrong and I hope I am but does it not just seems paraplegics have it so much easier. Not only from personal observation but in advice columns I read, magazines and even on the covers of disability magazines, all I see or read about his couples who are paraplegics or low level quadriplegics/higher functioning.
I never read about quadriplegics with very little function either through their neck or upper arms getting the girl.
What do you think? Please prove me wrong
Dillon
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