Re: [QUAD-L] Relationships and Romances

[TonyPony1]

In a message dated 2/9/2005 1:23:41 PM Eastern Standard Time, [EMAIL PROTECTED] writes:

I have what so many of you want because I am married.â.  But do I?  I'm going on 23 years of marriage with absolutely no romance at all.  My wife was not very sexual to begin with even while I was walking and since my injury she has not touch me in any sexual or romantic way at all.  I feel fortunate enough to get a peck in the mornings when she is going off to work and maybe I will get one when I go to bed.  That is the extent to our physical contact.  She has never been a good communicator and would always get upset if I ask to many questions and that continues to this day.  She has always been a homebody and for the most part would only go out if we had something planned with friends or family.  Basically, she would do what she wanted to do and do what she had to do.  Is this romance or a relationship?  I would have to say no.  Personally, I think she is only sticking around because of finances but truthfully our relationship has not changed all that much since I've been injured except for the fact she is more stubborn and has started smart remarks.  Should I divorce her?  My answer is no.  Why should I give up my home that I worked so hard to get and keep and why should I give up seeing my children on a daily basis?  There is that old saying "It's always greener on the other side of the fence."  In my experience through life it is NOT always greener on the other side of the fence.  I have a good situation with my living because my place is pretty accessible plus I'm able to be around my children.  I live my life day by day and make the best out of my situation.  I know my life could be a lot worse and I know that there are others in worse predicaments then myself.

Jim....i totally respect your view here, and i say again, everybody has different needs in relationships.  I see your point with so many things to hold on to, i have a few friends in ur situation.  I, personally, couldn't do it...i have to have LOTS of chemistry, communication, affection, sexuality, playfulness, teasing and laughter.  It's just me, and if i don't have that, i have to drop the girl...i had a great girl in early 90s, gorgeous, smart, great job, did let me have sex with her, but she was closed up when it came to anything deep...sex didn't have the kinda spark i love, so eventually i told her i had to move on...my aB friends thought i was nuts, and i never could explain it well to them.

Hang in there, dude....tony c5c6 florida car vs tree