Re: [QUAD-L] Lori Ann - I'm New

[Stacy Harim]

HI Lori Ann,   I'm sorry you are in so much pain.  Mine was a lot worse earlier on but I think it was mostly muscle break down because it was mostly in my legs and it was soreness.  I did get a lot more burning in my buttox but that seemed to subside a lot. Oh, it's been 5 years for me.  I still deal with a lot of pain.   I was taking 1200mg of neurontin 3 times a day and 20mg of methadone 4 times a day.  I was switched to lyrica a few months ago and it works so much better and I even quit the methadone.  I also take hydrocodone but considering your addiction to pain meds, I wouldn't recommend it because it could be addictive.    I'm sorry you are suffering so much to the point you want to commit suicide but please get help.  I just lost my brother to suicide and it would be an easy out for you but kill your family.  I went through a major depression for a couple of months and just  coming out of it.  I just couldn't understand why he would do such a thing.  It's so hard to lose someone and the guilt your family and friends would feel because they would wonder what they could have done.  I sought help from a psychatrist 15 months into my injury because I was having a hard time adjusting.  Please seek help if you are really that serious about it.   We all are here for you to 'listen' if you want to get it out.  Please take care of yourself.  I know the pain is unbearable.  Have you seen a pain specialist?  I have one and maybe you can ask your doctor to refer you to one.   Stacy ----- Original Message ----- From: lori To: quad-list@eskimo.com Sent: Saturday, May 13, 2006 7:53 PM Subject: [QUAD-L] Lori Ann - I'm New Hi, My name is lori ann and I'm a C-6 complete, just over 13 months post. My biggist problem is PAIN,PAIN,PAIN! It is so severe it colors  every aspect of my life and I know it has held me back from recovering some independence in my life. I was in a car accident on my way to the meth clinic, where I was trying to beat an addiction to prescription pain meds, that was completely out of control. I was being treated for chronic pain.boy if I'd have only known  what was in store for me!!!! Now we can't find a pain med that comes close to even touching the pain. It's so ironic too, 'cause the pain keeps getting worse and worse. Everyday I'm astonished at the intensity. You just can't prepare yourself against it. I'm very depressed, I wish I wouldn't wake up, I'm ready to die.. Being a quad though, I'd have to have someone assisst me with suicide. I'm almost ready to ask my fiancee' of 12 1/2 years if he would do it. I don't think he would, though. Even if I begged. I have all kinds, the hellfire burning, which for some reason is getting A LOTworse., I Also have shoulder and hip and knee pain.but the biggest worse pain I have is in my buttocks. It is  SO severe that I can't stay in my chair for more than 4 hours at a time. Even in bed I have to be rolled onto my side, and then my shoulders and hips ache. And that's in an air mattrress. I try to work through the pain, it just wears me down, Here's what meds I take for pain: 3900 mgs neurontin split in 4 doses 120 mgs methadone  a day 70mgs of baclofin  a day (for spasms, which I never had, dr.tells me it helps w/pain) does it? 1mg klonopin 3 x day 75 mgs trazodone at bedtime ( to help me sleep though  the pain) hah! Well, I've  whined enough, just wanted to get it out, thanks for listening and any suggestions greatly appreciated, Hi, again everyone, Lori ann