Hi Jim,
I was lucky to have a PT that advised me not to listen to the ''Experts'' and
to listen to my inner-self in all areas. She was so right. One of my first
insights was not to tie my sexuality to my erections. I was getting erections
with a brush of a nurse's hand, or a position change, but my sexuality was
buried deeper in my mind, and it would take more concentration to learn how to
reach it. My wife and I started working on the mental side of our sexuality
before I left rehab. We did a lot of talking listening to each other early
on, and started using what we learned for some erotic game playing at rehab.
By not worring as much about my erections at that point, we were able to find
ways to give, and to get, enough sexual pleasure to each other to encourage us
on with our learning SCI Sex. Today I talk, listen, fiddle around, flirt,
play, and work around women. I've learned I can say as much to a lady with my
eyes, as with an erection, as it is amazing how many
with ''look back''! Stay strong.
With Love,
CtrlAltDel aka Dave
C4/5 Complete - 31 Years Post
Texas, USA
[EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote:
I have heard so much about "mental orgasms" and what pleasure they bring
but I am one that cannot achieve this. After my injury back in 2000 my wife
had nothing to do with me sexually. The only erection that I achieve is once
in a while in the morning. Since I'm a SCI "virgin" I do not know if I can
achieve an erection being sexually stimulated or not, I hardly doubt it. I
have had erotic dreams and have even gone to the Internet to surf porn to see
if I would be able to achieve an erection or even have an orgasm but so far
nothing.
My ex-wife was never really very sexual and I guess she could be even labeled
as frigid so, I was left high and dry on too many occasion is to even count.
Maybe if our sex life was more active while I was able-bodied maybe she would
have taken an interest after my injury. I still get sexually frustrated at
times but nothing like I was after my injury so, I guess I can say sex is not
that big of a deal anymore. Although it would be nice to try.
Jim
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